Self harming teenager

[Ginandtonic4all]

Hi all

I have just discovered my DD age 14 just about to be 15 has self harmed. She says she has only done it twice - once the school found out and told her father (we are separated) in the summer. And the just before Christmas. She says she does it as it's the only thing that helps her sadness. She usually pinches her self but that wasnot working.

So what do I do? GPS? Counsellor? Just talk? Any help advice experiences gratefully received.

[MyArris]

We talked. Saw the GP but the waiting list for counselling was so long, i paid for a private counsellor. For the first 8 months, she saw the counsellor weekly, then for the next 6 months it was every two weeks and now it's once a month.

It's been hard but as far as I know, DD is now not self-harming although it's always at the back of my mind. Especially with her GCSEs coming up.

[MyArris]

And I kept the school informed so they knew she was seeing a counsellor and so they could keep an extra eye on her. They've been fab.

[MissDai5y]

I self harmed for years from being a teen until late 20s.

You definitely need to get outside help. I'd suggest gp first and counselling from there. May need to go private if you can to avoid a ridiculous wait but this depends on where you are.

She's escalated from pinching to whatever method, that seemed to meet her needs and did it again. That could go on for a long or short time before that no longer helps and she changes method or it gets more severe. The thing that is causing her enough emotional stress or pain to do this to relieve it needs to be addressed and she needs to learn better coping methods. I found CBT good but have had to do go through it a few times in my life.

I haven't done it in 8 years. It would be closer to 10 but I had a big life change and old familiar methods are sometimes easier in an instant. Luckily it was a one off and I knew it was a mistake.

I will always have my scars and will always get looks from others if I'm not covered (only normally an issue in summer). I do slightly regret it but it was what I needed to do to cope at the time. I didn't have the family support you appear to be showing so hopefully your DD can nip this in the bud with help.

I hope you manage to get the help your DD needs.

[pasanda]

I hope she accesses any help you can offer.

My dd has been self harming for a year and refuses to engage with anybody at all. Despite numerous attempts.

Good luck. It's a horrible place to parent from.

[Ginandtonic4all]

Thank you everyone. I have had a long open talk with DD. Not sure if made any different but being 'heard' can not be a bad thing.

She is very resistant to getting help and turns out that the school already known and have her seeing a counsellor. So I might look for a support group or more active type of therapy.

Thank you again

[milliejones25x]

one of my closest friends has a DD who just turned 18 and used to self harm. My friend and her husband have paid nearly over £1000 for a sleeve of tattoos to cover her daughters scars from self harming as they were very bad from doing them for over a year. I would advise counselling and informing the school immediately, as they can really help the issue if it is stemming from school.