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Teenagers

What age to go to the dr unaccompanied

32 replies

janx · 12/09/2018 17:14

My dd has just turned 14 and when I last took her to the drs I was surprised to hear from the dr that she can both make and attend appointments on her own. Is this common practice?

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JustDanceAddict · 12/09/2018 17:16

16 I think

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janx · 12/09/2018 17:19

16 sounds much more sensible. Maybe it's just our GPs

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ems137 · 12/09/2018 17:20

Eh? 16? No, it's any age as long as the doctor can see the child/young person is able to understand and confidently make decisions themselves isn't it?

I went from a fairly young age by myself. I think I used to ask my mum to make the appts because she was at home during the day to call them but always went on my own from about 13, maybe younger but mum would sit in waiting room with younger siblings.

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TheFaerieQueene · 12/09/2018 17:22

Have a look at Gillick competence info.

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ems137 · 12/09/2018 17:22

I was at a sexual health clinic that deals with terminations, contraception and STI checks and I read that if you're under 16 and having a termination to bring someone over 18 with you to make sure you get home ok. So you could be 14, having a termination and your parents wouldn't ever know.

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Anythingforacatslife · 12/09/2018 17:26

When they’re competent. My ds has been attending GP appointments by himself since he was 11 because he’s at boarding school. He used to have a houseparent go with him who would then report anything we needed to know, or on occasions we had a telephone conversation via speakerphone, but he attends alone now. He’s 14.

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IHaveBrilloHair · 12/09/2018 17:27

Dd was 13, because she flatly refused to have me there.

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hailstone1 · 12/09/2018 17:28

I tried at 14 and they Wouldn't let me. Had to have parent there tull 16

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AnnaMagnani · 12/09/2018 17:32

When they go and ask for contraception without you.

Was about 15-16 at my school and that was back in the dark ages.

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IsTheRainEverComingBack · 12/09/2018 17:41

I went to the sexual health clinic myself from 14. I think that’s about normal. You don’t have to have a parent there.

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SnuggyBuggy · 12/09/2018 17:43

I agree look up Gillick competence

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Isentthesignal · 12/09/2018 17:49

We had a GP phone ( - unprompted & on a Saturday) our house to speak to Ds when he was 13 about health issues - I found that a little weird, the GP said he was reaching out to teens so that they’d take responsibility for their own health. I have asked my kids since they started secondary whether they want me to go in with them.

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Nandocushion · 12/09/2018 18:29

In US. Once my daughter was entering puberty the GP asked me to leave the room during visits, standard procedure. This was age 11 I think.

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pretendingtowork1 · 12/09/2018 18:30

When you are Fraser competent, it hasn't been called Gillick competence for some years as Mrs. Gillick didn't want her name associated with it. Fraser was the judge in the case.

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SinglePringle · 12/09/2018 18:34

I started going on my own from about 13/14 years old. I’d have been furious if my parents had insisted attending. My body. My privacy.

That said, I would have included them if it transpired I had a serious or life-threatening condition.

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tierraJ · 12/09/2018 18:51

I was going on my own by 15

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janx · 12/09/2018 18:59

The thing is she's not that keen on going by herself - she can be a bit of a daydreamer. I have said she can go by herself

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Isentthesignal · 12/09/2018 19:57

Dh was on a project with a father who told a very sad story about his son who at the age of 11 had found a lump on his testicles. He didn't want to talk to his parents about it - he just wanted to see the doctor, parents insisted one of them attended and their son told them he felt better and there was no need to go. This caused considerable delay in his treatment of testicular cancer, at the time he told dh his son was 14 and was still undergoing treatment - they still weren't sure he'd pull through.
He told everyone as a warning to allow your kids to see the GP alone if they want to.

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pretendingtowork1 · 13/09/2018 09:50

The thing is she's not that keen on going by herself - she can be a bit of a daydreamer. I have said she can go by herself

it's not compulsory! vast majority of teens come with their parents

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Hoozz · 13/09/2018 19:02

I don't think it matters what age it's allowed. If she wants you there then I would go with her.
If it was a fairly minor matter I encouraged mine to go alone from 16 but in fact they both usually asked me to go with them up to 18 or so.
In fact I recently accompanied DS22 to a hospital consultation ( at his request) simply because it's often better to have someone else there in case a question is missed.

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mumto2teenagers · 13/09/2018 20:27

My dd1 has been going on her own since she was about 14, dd2 is now 16 and would normally ask me to go with her

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Tortoisecharlie · 13/09/2018 20:34

It’s tricky. My just 16 year told me about an ongoing issue that he’d have never plucked up courage to see the GP about on his own, so I went with him. I didn’t encourage him to go on his own but would have not gone in if he’d preferred.

Afterwards he’d hardly any recollection of what the GP advised, which was pretty important, so I was able to tell him. I think he was really embarrassed, I feel for him, but I think secretly he would have been terrified to do this in his own.

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WhoMovedMyCoffee · 13/09/2018 20:37

Gillick competence means a teen can see a doctor alone, in confidence, not that they must!

My sons have laughed in the face of seeing a doctor alone so far as it's deemed 'too scary'.

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user1488545772 · 14/09/2018 12:13

The first time I went to my gp without a parent was to get the contraceptive pill, I was 16. He abused me but at the time I thought it was normal but a bit creepy and embarrassing so I didn't tell anyone. Turns out he did the same to my sister a couple of years later! Goodness know how many other young girls he abused. He's dead now. This was back in the 70's

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hometutor1234 · 30/09/2018 08:51

Oh that's interesting - I didn't realise it was 14, that sounds young

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