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teenager with no drive and big dreams!(7 Posts)
My son who is soon to be 17 has no drive to do anything. he has given up his college course, works for six hours a week at minimum wage and has no intention of increasing the hours. his child benefit stops in September.
I work, my husband works (a lot!) and we do struggle financially. I do try and give my children what I can, mobile phones, internet, Netflix, bus fares, trips but don't give them pocket money as such.
My son is the eldest but has no get up and go. he doesn't want to go to college other than to socialise, he doesn't want to work any more hours and says he is 16, he's a kid, let him be one.
obviously I have people telling me FORCE HIM or KICK HIM OUT or the classic TAKE EVERYTHING AWAY. he doesn't really have anything other than his phone which I pay for, and his games console which he bought himself. I cant cut the internet off, everyone uses it, I'm not about to see him on the streets so kicking him out is not an option. he is very immature for his age unfortunately but I just don't know what to do.....
he blanks any conversations about it, will ignore anything to do with becoming an adult. But on the flip side, wants to learn to drive and go on holiday and get a motorbike all on his £4.25ph job!
what do I do?????
well, none of those things will be happening.
stop giving all but the essentials. and stop the hotel service too if you do that. he can pull his weight with housework.
Well at least he is working OP, it's a start, and presumably it will dawn on him eventually that he will need to increase his income.
Are there any services in your area aimed at 16-18 year olds not in education? You might find out from your council website.
Change the internet password so everyone else can still have access?
You tell him he needs to get an apprenticeship or do a course like everybody else his age.
Then help him find something he'll enjoy. He's right he is still a child, and his education will be funded for the next two years.
We have seen this with relatives - the dcs son't want to do anything but expect everything laid on for them - chores list is needed - if not completed no dinner or privileges. You can't force them to work outside the home but they need to pull their weight in the house.
When my son was this age and when he finished uni, it was never an option to stay at home, he went to work with his dad or he did a course until he found work, we were always very supportive as it’s not easy to find a job after uni but sitting at home isn’t an option as it’s not healthy, especially at that age