What to do about lying DS (13)

[NotAPenguin]

Feeling very frustrated by my DS's lying and hoping for some sensible advice.

The latest example is that he has exams starting tomorrow and have just realised he has lied about revising, mostly reading in his room instead. At the start of half term I had decided that he needed to work more independently (last year I supervised closely and he did very well) and I helped him to draw up a timetable with about 3-4 hours work a day, he had time on xbox, we invited friends over to play footie etc. It's not the lack of revision that's upsetting me, I think it's a useful lesson to learn that less work = less good results, but the lying is making me mad.

This is just the latest example. He constantly lies over his use of technology, eg taking devices to bed and saying 'oh no, I accidentally left it down the side of the sofa etc'. I impose sanctions when I catch him, eg no phone for a week, but a week later he will do it again. He lies about countless small things eg stealing food from the kitchen, blames his brother and it's difficult to prove, and not such a big deal, but annoying. Have caught him stealing from my purse in the past but he seems to have stopped since we gave him pocket money (and a bollocking).

He's generally polite, mature and well behaved (though can be horrible to DS2) but the constant lying makes me feel I can't trust anything he says. I guess he's mostly lying to avoid confrontation. But I think I'm a reasonable parent and would like him discuss things with me/ own up to things rather than just ignoring the rules and lying. Obviously I have discussed this with him but nothing changes. Any ideas?

[Handsfull13]

I would let him learn the consequences about lack of revision for himself this time as it should be reflected in his grades.
The lying is a problem though. He can do independently revision at the table or somewhere you can see him.
He can decide what to revise and how to revise it but he can't be trusted to just tell you he's done it.
If it means he doesn't actually do any then he's got a few years to learn that won't get him anywhere.

My step son is in his first year of GCSE but the school didn't really prepare him for the amount of work leading up to it. The previous years had very little homework or tests. Unfortunately now is not the time for us to let him learn to deal with the consequences of not revising.
But you have a few years practice to hopefully get him to learn it himself.

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Yiu coukd be describing my DS. He knows he’s being a jerk. We keep talking to him and praying that he’ll see the error of his ways soon