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DS 14 is such an awkward ungrateful....

(12 Posts)
Hellsbellscockleshells Sun 03-Jun-18 21:50:52

DS14 is so up and down. This afternoon and early evening he spent 6 hours upstairs in his bedroom with his blinds closed (as he couldn’t be bothered to open them) lounging around on his phone and iPad. The only time we see him is when he wants food (if he can’t find any snacks to help himself to) or if he wants money (we don’t give him pocket money but give him money if he is doing something with a friend from school). He is so rude and ungrateful at the minute and he’s getting worse. This morning I was feeling quite ill with a kidney infection DH was out with DD and I asked if he could please feed the dog he knew how ill i was and I had to ask him 6 times. DH has a chat with him tonight and he said their is no point doing anything to help around the house as if he does one thing I will just ask him to do something else which really isn’t true. After a steam of abuse and arguing he’s stormed off to bed banging anything in his way leaving his phone on the sofa not charged. We ask him to leave his phone on charge in the living room during the week as he is up just after 6 for school.
Any advice or hope for the future I hate him going to bed angry and upset but tonight I have had enough of him. I told him I really loved and cared about him. Quite a few of his friends are from families who are separated ones mums has various fellas coming and going and th y don’t appear to have happy home life’s from what DS says. Tonight he said that they were happier than him and he would rather be them than him.

mookinsx Sun 03-Jun-18 21:53:19

Don't go to sleep on an argument - I remember doing it so many times and it was horrible and I'm sure for my parents too. He's probably just being a generic lazy teen boy. Not a lot you can - maybe earning his money? Then he's got a reason to help

LineysMozzieBitesHurt Sun 03-Jun-18 21:55:21

Back up a minute.

Up at 6am? He's 14, must be knackered.

Talking about his friends' home lives compared to yours - why?

Of course he should look after family pets though. Most kids would. Why won't he - has he said?

Pigwitch Sun 03-Jun-18 21:57:16

My 12yo DS is similar. Very moody and unreasonable. I think it's an age thing. My DS usually snaps out of it and apologises eventually.

fuzzywuzzy Sun 03-Jun-18 21:57:33

Restrict iPad and phone time.

My teens would sit on the iPad or phone all day if they were allowed.

Hellsbellscockleshells Sun 03-Jun-18 22:04:31

LineysMozzieBitesHurt - he sets his alarm for 6:15am he could get up later but likes 20-30 mins on his phone.

I was hurt with him moaning at me when I love him would do anything for him and always put him and his sister first etc. Two of his friends are quite well off and are always getting new expensive clothing and trainers and go abroad several times a year (so he thinks he’s badly done to). As we don’t spend as much on DS only go abroad once a year and enjoy having DS and DD around and don’t prefer them in their bedrooms so they don’t have giant TV’s or gaming consoles in their bedrooms etc.

Hellsbellscockleshells Sun 03-Jun-18 22:06:40

Thanks both I used to do this when he was younger but he is taller than me now and strong and as he has his phone for school I could hide his iPad but would have to wrestle with him to get this off him.

Lolipop44 Wed 13-Jun-18 09:31:12

I'm in the same position with 2 boys 13 & 15 it's exhausting. The 15 year old is polite and kind but bloody lazy has to be told everything atleast 20 times before he even considers doing it....getting in the shower brushing his teeth getting ready for school and the 13 year old is turning into a brat he hates the word no and won't do anything to help unless it in someway benefits him. If asked to something he'll say well i did so and so last week. We go away most weekends in summer to our caravan boys always loved it but now they are older they just moan theres no wifi angry i have been assured it does get better. I have 4 older brothers and my mom has promised me once they get a bit older they'll get better. I can't wait!! It sounds as though your son has a lovely life which is the same as our boys i do just genuinely think it's a phase all teens go through so don't think it's you that's doing anything wrong. It's to easy to beat yourself up. Hope you are feeling better now after kidney infection. I'm sure your son is aware of how much you love him and that you do so much 4 him x

TuTru Wed 13-Jun-18 09:33:15

14 is what it is!

myheartgoesout Thu 14-Jun-18 09:58:09

He's 14 - everyone's lives are going to be better, you need to ignore the jibes but they are completely normal and usually meaningless, keep calm, pick your battles - and there will be plenty and lots of I didn't ask to be born and I hate you but these things are said because your ds is trying to get some control over his life. Have a look at how you are treating him - are you still seeing him as a child, sometimes reviewing your parenting can make an enormous difference - it did with me!

Pennina Thu 14-Jun-18 10:22:14

My heart. Good advice! I've a 14 yo dd and 13 Ds and I always pick my battles, try not to get stressed, give them space and love. They're both fab. But vvvvv lazy and hard to motivate for anything.

wwwwwwwwwwwwww Thu 14-Jun-18 12:09:16

I think he should give you the phone if you ask. It's about respect for your authority as a parent. If he won't change the WiFi password and remove funds till he follows the rules.

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