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Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Teenagers

NCS for anxious teen?

15 replies

ZaZathecat · 09/05/2018 18:56

Just signed dd (16) up for NCS this summer as she needs to branch out and make new friends as lack of activity and contact with the few friends she has is encouraging a return to depression. She has anxiety about a lot of things but is a bit desperate to change her life for the better now.

I was just wondering if anyone had an anxious teen go off to NCS and how they got on?

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BigSandyBalls2015 · 09/05/2018 21:34

Prob not what you want to hear but my DD hated it. The adverts promised water sports, mountains, lakes. The reality was a run down ex PGL site. Lack of food and very strict rules.

But it does vary in each area!

ZaZathecat · 10/05/2018 08:29

Oh no Sandy, not quite the answer I was hoping for! Was you dd an anxious/depressed teen? Did the other kids there seem to hate it too?

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BigSandyBalls2015 · 10/05/2018 08:51

She's not anxious or depressed but her sister suffers from anxiety (health related anxiety, school refusal). I signed her up for NCS but she refused to go.

This was last year, things have improved a bit with her since starting 6th form.

Is your DD currently in year 11?

BigSandyBalls2015 · 10/05/2018 08:52

Friends who were on the same NCS also weren't keen. But I've heard from others in diff areas who had a much more positive experience so I do think it varies hugely.

ZaZathecat · 10/05/2018 09:12

Fingers crossed then! We're in the South East.

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ZaZathecat · 10/05/2018 09:22

Just saw you other message. DD missed the last 3 months of year 11 due to anxiety/depression but attended most of the exams and did quite well. She's now at college and is a lot better and has made a few friends but in holiday time they tend to be unavailable or flakey so she feels sad and isolated when not at college.

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ZaZathecat · 11/05/2018 17:26

Bumping for other experiments

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BackforGood · 11/05/2018 17:31

Mine weren't anxious, but I've had lots of chats with other parents who have said their dc came back so much more confident after having been on NCS.

ZaZathecat · 11/05/2018 17:37

That's more what I hoped to hear! Still interested in all experiences though, I want to have realistic expectations.

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frippit · 12/05/2018 14:25

I work as a ranger in a park and we host NCS camps during the summer. The staff at ours go out of their way to help anxious or shy teens. I know they helped one young girl who found it hard to make friends by assigning her a volunteer who was essentially her mentor. They were very aware of teen issues such as lack of self esteem, smoking, drugs etc. I expect you would need to speak with the staff nearer the time.
There were teens at the camp who arrived knowing no one and seemed to settle in well. Must really depend on how good the staff are. Hope this helps.

ZaZathecat · 12/05/2018 22:34

Thankyou frippit

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TwitterQueen1 · 12/05/2018 22:49

Mine had a fab time. Very uncertain about it, joined a cohort from neighbouring town, not our own town, so she didn't know anyone at all. This wasn't a problem - they all came back swearing undying friendship and BFF for ever and crying that it was at an end.

The went to Snowdonia NP (we are south central), and did all the outdoor ed activities - river gorging, abseiling etc etc. Apparently DD declined to do a couple of these - it wasn't a problem.

Her cousin, who has crohns, is about to go and cousin is obviously worried about food and toilet issues. DD was able to reassure - food was laid out buffet style so you eat what you want - no-one will force you. In the second week when they're in uni halls they have all have ensuite rooms (the girls did anyway).

She learned a huge amount - she had never been on a bus before and they had to do this as part of their community project. She did presentations, budgeting, planning etc.

I would definitely recommend it.

ZaZathecat · 13/05/2018 09:36

That sounds brilliant, twitter, and reassuring that your dd was able to decline some activities.

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saffyb · 17/05/2018 17:20

Hi I have nothing to contribute re NCS, but I just wondered if you had heard about a children's charity called Friend Finder Official? They arrange events in the south east for children who feel lonely/isolated due to illness. Many of the children are quite anxious and it helps that they attend with a parent/carer.
It is an amazing charity and in half term they have a wonderful Prom on at the Guildhall in Portsmouth - my daughter attended last year and everyone was so lovely and she made some great new friends there too. She since meets up with them at events in the region such as Christmas parties, indoor skiing etc..
Have a look as they are currently accepting nominations. The event is free and if you are looking to change things for your daughter it may just be the thing.

ZaZathecat · 17/05/2018 23:56

Thanks for the tip saffy.

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