Hi all
I am at my wits end with my dd whonis 13, nearly 14. Since starting seconds School it’s been a real eye opener for us. gone is my sweet, polite, academic little girl, replaced by this mass ball of hormones, who grunts shouts and is down right ride at times.
It’s been tougher since last September- when she started year 8 due to her attitude and behaviour both at home and school. She ended up being out on report at school which resulted in her not having her beloved phone or tablet for almost 5 months. She earnt then back in Feb after coming off the report and it seemed we had a breakthrough- she felt she had no friends and was trying to fit in at school. When she had been doing well at school she was getting picked on (surprised me as it is a grammar school) and she could see that some of the other kids who were misbehaving were popular so wanted to copy them.
Anyway fast forward to this weeks problem!!
A few weeks ago she posted a really inappropriate pic on Instagram. It was one of her posing in a skirt that she had hitched up to show her bottom. I have her social media on my phone too so I can see her account and Also any messages. I told her to take it down as it wasn’t appropriate and that it was too sexualised for a 13 yr old. She stripped and moaned and said it was ok and despite being told a few times to take it down she didn’t, so I told her step dad- who is completely anti social media and also a lot more strict then I am, who told her to take it down immediately, which she did and then stropped about it.
A few days later she posted a pic of her in a bikin top- where she is leaning forward so you have full on cleavage and her boobs are just about being contained. Again I told her to take it down, it wasn’t appropriate etc. Which she did. I had a chat with her the next day when the situation calmed down explaining how dangerous it can be posting stuff like that, how it can make her come across to people who don’t know her well, how it reflects on us as parents. She then says she does it for the amount of likes as it makes her feel popular and she likes the attention. Obvious I find this really worrying and said to her so what happens when you don’t get the likes what level do you take it to next, told her that she doesn’t need to have validation or attention from social media-that comes from Real life. She cries and says she is sorry won’t do it again.
Low and behold, today I find a secret account she has and she has posted these pics on there!!! I am so annoyed upset and disappointed I feel I can’t trust her and that she is devious. Again the reason she has done it is for the attention. I just don’t know where to go from here. At the moment I have told her she isn’t going in the Internet as she obviouy can’t be trusted. I wouldn’t mind but she had only just earnt the Internet back after playing up at School a week ago!!
Completely worried about what she will do next for attention, not to mention that imo she is trying to get the wrong attention.
It just seems like us a constant battle with her over everything!!
Congratulations if you made it this far!!
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Inappropriate photos
molliepops01 · 07/05/2018 07:30
I know it is of little consolation but your DD is not the only one to post this stuff online. It is a sad thing that being liked and popular now involves posting pictures on SM in your pants or showing cleavage. The need to be liked, to belong and to fit in is sometimes so strong that it overrides any common sense in even the most sensible well behaved kids. DDs instagram is full pictures of pictures of girls like this which makes me think that either their parents don’t mind or they don’t monitor their DCs SM. I suspect the latter.
If DD posts anything inappropriate online I also make her take it down. I also get the massive strops and claims that I am the only parent that does this. My hope is that one day she will look back and be thankful that I was that parent.
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