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What's the teenage relationship break up protocol...

(9 Posts)
kinter Thu 08-Feb-18 11:31:32

...when it's the other party, not one's own teenager, who tells you by text that they've broken up, or rather that your your son/daughter has done the breaking up?

I'm talking about seventeen year olds, both with some mental health issues. The Other Party (TOP) has texted me before when there were crises. I'm presuming My Offspring (MO) does not want to be forthcoming with info, which is their right, and I'm fine with that. What I really want to know is should I respond to TOP, just to wish them well in the future but making no comment about the relationship or about whether MO has told me anything? Or should I not be drawn in at all?

jaimelannistersgoldenhand Thu 08-Feb-18 11:34:02

I have a16 year old and not been in your shoes yet but O'd send a text wishing them the best and wait for my child to bring it up.

JosieSand Thu 08-Feb-18 11:38:37

I replied, saying sorry to hear that and that I hoped they stayed friends.

Awkward though

Yecartmannew Thu 08-Feb-18 12:24:36

My daughter had her boyfriend pretty much living with us for about 6 months. When she broke it off she buggered off away to a friends and left us to deal with the emotional wreck that was TOP while he sobbed on my shoulder in between putting his clothes in a bag.

It was one of the most excruciating times in my life.

Idontmeanto Thu 08-Feb-18 21:04:19

Taking notes!

SallyLockhartsDog Thu 08-Feb-18 21:10:23

I would definitely respond unless TOP have behaved outrageously. I wouldn't say "sorry to hear that" unless you are genuinely sorry the relationship has broken up.

SallyLockhartsDog Thu 08-Feb-18 21:12:32

I think we need to know the rough gist of the text and the break up.

My advice would be dramatically different depending on if my DC had behaved appropriately/TOP had sent a slagging off text/either party has mental health issues etc etc

JDilla Thu 15-Feb-18 00:42:38

You're saying "protocol" like you need to plan for these things, just TALK TO YOUR CHILDREN, if you're understanding you can't go wrong.

ljlkk Thu 15-Feb-18 04:16:16

It's awkward b/c OP has been put in middle of this.
I'd go for a 'sorry' (what JosieSand said is good). The 'sorry' is to say you care about their feelings & breaking up isn't fun.

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