Teenage son depressed, help

[Avalon777]

My problem is with my 16 yr old son. His depression has now gotten much worse, in that he literally stays up all night and sleeps all day. I don't want to get into an argument n I always talk to him, try to get him into groups or hobbies, tell him I love him but no matter what I do or say it's to no avail. He hs seen counsellors in the past and doesn't think they're any use. He is in line for online counselling but I don't think that will help. I'm really worried because his father hs given up on him and he now lives with me. Any mums out there going through the same thing ? Be good to know i'm not alone with this or if anyone has any tips then great. Hs parents separation and moving of schools several times caused a large percentage of it he has told me. I just need some support please because i'm looking for a job and I don't want to leave him alone. I don't know what to do

[verystressedmum]

Have you been to your gp they can refer him to camhs or elsewhere to help him.
My dd is on fluoxetine nothing else helped her anxiety and depression.

[Avalon777]

Hi,
Dont like idea of drugs. I hd a bad reaction to those long while ago but I hv a gp appt Monday so I cn maybe try n get some one to one counsellor. How is your child doing tho on Fluoxetine ?

[PersonAtHome]

Hi, my DS (14) has just recently started crying and saying he 'feels sad for no reason'.

Several times recently he's been very sad / crying at bedtime. It seems like the main trigger for this is a problem at school with a GCSE subject, he's stressed and anxious about a piece of work.

But from the discussion I had with him last night, he seems to have some dark thoughts flying around his mind that are more general. He was saying that school is pointless and that working hard is pointless and that all you do when you finish school and uni is get a job and then the corporate overlords own your time and that is pointless as well.

I'm feeling very worried about this 'life is pointless' attitude and not sure what to do about it. Obviously I hope that his dark thoughts and sad feelings will die down once he gets this GCSE piece of work out of the way and is feeling less stressed about it.

But if he doesn't, so far my own plans to help him are to see if I can get him to take up any new hobbies and / or exercise, get him out on family walks in nature, get him some vitamin D tablets, research books on CBT (the techniques helped me when I suffered from anxiety as an adult), and if none of that works, try to find some CBT counselling.

But I recognise that your son is deeper into his depression and if he's sleeping all day it sounds like it will be a challenge to help him.

Does he not have to get up for school or has he left school?

My best friend's daughter went through an awful year when she was 15, very depressed and self harming. She had CBT and learned some techniques to help her deal with difficult thoughts and has come through it and is happy and healthy.

It sounds like your son needs help to get his negative thinking patterns out of his head and replaced with more positive ones and CBT can help with that. Also he needs some help to get back into a routine of being up and awake in the daytime and needs help finding some activities that give him meaning and purpose and help him feel content. But I can imagine that it is very difficult to force him to get up at the right time.

[EveryoneTalkAboutPopMusic]

It’s good that you’ve got a Doctor’s appointment. Has he agreed to go with you?

We have a local, well localish, it’s in the city about 6 miles away, Support Group for teens with depression. Might be worth asking the Gap if he knows of anything local to you.

Please keep an open mind about drugs though. Just because you reacted doesn’t mean he will

[PersonAtHome]

Hi again, I just found this free course for parents:
www.futurelearn.com/courses/depression-young-people/1/steps/267057

And also on another mumsnet thread I saw a parent had talked about having some phone counselling with someone from Young Minds that was very helpful. youngminds.org.uk/

I found it interesting that the Young Minds advice was different from the CAMHS approach.

[corythatwas]

Hi, OP. This was my dd a few years ago. She was under CAHMS (who were actually very good), but even with the best of their efforts, dd was too ill to get anything out of the therapy until they started her on fluoxetine. And trying to get her to start a new activity would have been absolutely impossible.

She never had a bad reaction to the drug, and it didn't change her personality; it didn't take her depression/anxiety away either, but what it did to was to take the edge off it to the point where she could engage with CBT, which turned out to be the right approach for her.

In dd's case, she has been told that her MH issues (which go with a physical disorder) are probably going to be with her for the long haul, but that there are techniques which will help her handle them. She has now come off the fluoxetine, after 5 years, and is living independently in a different city, trying to get into a very competitive industry and coping well with the setbacks. So all good, really, or at least as good as we could ever hope it would be.

[Avalon777]

Thank you for the free online course of which I've been watching the introduction. Not sure when it will be on as it's a 5 wk course but yeah I will look out for it, thank you

[breadhead]

Take a look at the Thrive programme. - book.is on Amazon. I am considering it for my 14 year old dsl who is also suffering from anxiety etc. Reviews look great.

[breadhead]

Link www.thriveprogramme.org

[PersonAtHome]

Avalon it looks like you can join that course any time you like - I joined it yesterday and started it. Once you join I think they give you seven weeks to complete the 'five weeks' of study (but my guess is that you can do it at your own pace in that time, e.g. if you want to do the full five weeks in one or two sessions I think you probably can).