Holiday without DD this year

[madamefraser]

Feeling sad - my 17 nearly 18 DD doesn't want to come in holiday with us this year - Says it's boring ( of course it is !!) .. I knew it was coming but I'm sad and sad for 13 yo DD who is really going to miss her . They get on really well on holiday though we are quite dysfunctional and OH gets really anxious on holiday it's not that bad and we have a nice break .
Words of wisdom and how to deal with it please and how to break it to other DD .. she's quite a loner so unlikely to be taking a friend for her .
Just having difficulty in moving in really ...

[madamefraser]

*moving on

[Reasontobelieve]

Would your older daughter consider going on a weekend break with you all?...maybe let her and your younger daughter choose a city break and let them spend some time exploring the city together? Maybe your older daughter would this the as being more fun and not as long as a conventional holiday.

[juneau]

I stopped going on holiday with my parents at 16. I was just bored of it and would rather spend the time with my friends. My parents would NEVER have asked where we DC wanted to go - if they had and I'd felt that they actually wanted me/my siblings to continue going away with them then maybe I'd have gone, but rural France for two whole weeks? No thanks! And I realise how ungrateful and spoiled that sounds now - but at 16 it was just dull. Have you asked her where she'd liked to go? At that age I'd have loved to go to Paris or Rome or stayed in a hotel with a pool and slides and stuff, but we never did.

[BlindLemonAlley]

I dread this time too OP and imagine it’s going to be tough for the younger sibling

Is it possible to change the holiday destination so the idea of family holiday be more attractive to DD1?

[BlindLemonAlley]

*might be

[TeenTimesTwo]

We did this in the summer as DD1 had just started working fulltime.

We sold it to DD2 (then aged 12) that we wouldn't need to keep compromising between what she wanted and what DD1 wanted, so we got to do more of her preferred activities and her preferred eating places.

[CrewsInn]

I always chose holidays with the DC and they still come with us at 20/22. They do their own thing as well but are still up for family breaks.
However 5 years is a very big age gap and I can't see much a 13 and 18 year old would do together. Why not let her bring a friend?

[Parky04]

Family holidays stopped 2 years ago. DS then 14 was so miserable he ruined it for everyone. DW and I now go on our own and it's lovely and a lot cheaper!

[Keehar256]

MY DD 14 nearly 15 isn't coming with us this year. I told her the itinerary and she said it sounded boring and she'd rather see her mates during the hols. So we're going alone, in term time (half the price) without a moaning bored teen who is glued to her phone. Happy days. I will miss her though

[madamefraser]

Thanks for your replies...I think me and DH would have a good time alone and we will have a good time with only younger DD as she's more likely to be happy just chilling by the pool etc. Neither of them are big flyers and don't like trekking, organised sports, so we generally have a relaxing holiday. Pool etc.. it's a good idea re city break, I might suggest that as an extra for me and the DCs as an alternative for her. I think I've just got to get used to the idea.
Younger DC hasn't really got any good friends to bring but my older one could bring a friend .
Where do your DCs stay when you go away without them ? Do you leave them with older sibs ? My older DC has a chronic illness that makes her feel ill a lot of the time so part of it is also I'm worried about leaving her alone, though I do have friends to be around if she needs.

[Inchyragirl]

All these people who are leaving 14 and 15 year olds at home.... on their own? For a week or fortnight? Seems quite young too me, especially if parents are abroad.

[LoveBeingAMum555]

Mine are 17 and 19 and the 17 year old is saying that he still wants to come with us this year. We have decided to book last minute so we can decide nearer the time.

Last year we had a weeks holiday in the UK and the eldest came with us for 3 nights and then got the train home. This worked really well because we got to spend some time with him and then enjoyed the time with our youngest on our own, being just three of us was a bit of a novelty.

I wouldnt have left either of them home alone at 16 unless there was a grandparent or other relative around to keep a close eye on things. Luckily neither of them wanted to be left until they were 17 or so.

[MajesticWhine]

We are reaching this stage too. My teens are 17 and 15 although will be 18 and 16 by the summer. DD1 has mental health issues and I couldn't leave her for a week. Which sounds ridiculous as she will be an adult, but she causes us quite a lot of worry with sudden meltdowns of depression and anxiety. But of course she doesn't want to come anywhere with us so it's a dilemma. DD2 would be ok but would doubtless have parties, have boyfriends staying over etc which I wouldn't be happy with. I think getting their input about the destination and only doing one week is the best way forward and hopefully we can keep everyone happy ish.

[Keehar256]

Inchyragirl my 14 year old DD is going to her grans !!

[madamefraser]

Majesticwhine I really understand your dilemma with your DD with MH issues, that is a tricky one. Same for my older DD with the chronic illness..I know she wants to be left on her own and is actually pretty responsible but to have something like that loitering in the background is difficult.
Just a week sounds a good idea, with support just in case.