Angry 13yo DS

[intuition]

My 13yo DS was so angry last night he slammed a door backwards and it ripped of its hinges.

Getting really worried about his angry outbursts. Not sure what is 'normal' and what is 'not normal'

He had been in exams all day and one hadn't asked what was expected so really frustrated.

[lljkk]

What happened in the 5 minutes before he slammed the door?
He may not know own strength.

[intuition]

His Dad was joking around and told him to brush his teeth!! Absolutely nothing.

[Wolfiefan]

We have occasional fits of teen temper here but maybe only one a year.
Sport helps hugely.

[intuition]

He is massively sporty. He said he would have gone for a run to calm down but it was 1030!!

[ChoudeBruxelles]

What have you done about speaking to him about slamming the door? Have you asked him why he did it? Is he sorry?

How he reacted after he slammed the door would have as much effect on how I treated him as slamming the door in the first place

Ds is nearly 12. He sometimes gets really cross and just doesn’t know why and then gets upset. I’m sure it’s wll hormonal and actually what he needs is some understanding and someone to talk to(and a hug). There are still consequences but we talk it through first.

[unrequitedme]

My nearly 13 year old punched a wall after I ask him to stop bursting into the bathroom while I was bathing his brothers, another occasion he cried real tears and anger as my mum only bought him chips and not a sausage! For mine it comes in bursts them passes and he's a calm funny well adjusted boy, I do believe is just hormonal changes

[Wolfiefan]

We have discussed lots of strategies for when he's feeling angry. Sometimes words aren't enough when you're a teen. Shame it was so late. The running was a great idea!

[intuition]

Thanks all. We did chat. And I did hug him, lots. Just was worried I was too understanding!! He is a lovely boy mostly, but just gets so angry sometimes

[Wolfiefan]

I always say it's ok to be angry but he can't hurt himself or destroy the house.
It's hard being a teen!

[Notasperfectasallothermners]

Ds had had weights +pull up bar etc to burn off tension +teen stress since he was 13. Maybe an idea.
He is 16 and extremely balanced +focused on college etc.

[intuition]

We have a pull up bar and weights. Bizarrely OH was worried he would wreck the door frame with the pull up bar!! Not as much damage from that as there is from him ripping the door of its hinge!!

[Notasperfectasallothermners]

Ds also goes boxing 5 nights a week and gym every lunch time at college. Boxing makes you very disciplined! It isn't violent in proper conditions!!