screen time - what is reasonable for 14yr olds?!

[ellicade]

I have a gorgeaus 14 year old son, who is funny and bright, (don't worry - he's also as rude and pushy some of the time!)... he has friends and is out and about with them doing active things, skateboarding, football etc which is great. My problem is that as soon as he gets home, he gets straight into bed and watches endless netflix, only getting up for food. I know that this is sort of fairly normal teenage behaviour, but I do really struggle with the idea of him doing this for hours on end and wish he would get up and do something creative or even, dare i say it, read a book! I want to put limits on his screentime, but am finding it hard to know what's reasonable for a 14 yr old, particularly in the holidays... anybody's perspective on this is greatly appreciated.

[Funnyonion17]

At 14 it's upto him really!

[Blanketdog]

I suggested 5hrs off a day and my 14 yr olds were happy with that - they don't want to spend all day on screens but find it hard to self regulate, some kids seem to find it easy...have a chat with and be led by your dc.

[kitnkaboodle]

My 13 year old son is the same during the holidays. Likes going out, but spends hours on his phone/watching YouTube and good old fashioned TV when at home. Does nothing else at home except - bizarrely - if I suggest a board game. He n his brother love board games!! A bit labour intensive though as I work at home. He''s a good kid, doing fine at school, nice friends. I can't be bothered to police the screen time or worry too much about it

[ellicade]

thanks guys, reassuring - I don't want to be too much on his case about it and I think I just need to let go of the expectation of reading for now and just hope he comes back to it :)

[sparky39]

My 14 year olds social life is virtual, all holiday he's on Xbox etc, then when he's bored he blames me and I feel so guilty , anybody else have this ? When I was 14 I entertained myself, I have taken him out and he's goes cinema with his friends but they are all like him. He's a lovely boy cheeky at times ( normal) why do I feel so guilty and responsible!!

[ggirl]

my son is the same
I do give him chores to do in the summer that break his time in his cave up a bit , this morning he spent an agonising hour cutting the grass ..but he survived thankfully

[sparky39]

Really feel like they are missing out on being with real people, (and vit D) can't wait for him to go back to school,

[ggirl]

I have two children 10 , almost 11 yrs apart and the difference in the way a teenager is is quite vast

Teens now spend much more time in the home , safely tucked away in their virtual world , whereas my first child was out all the time ..was recently told that the summer of being 14 was when the naughty drinking etc started.

So in some ways it's easier knowing where they are but I do worry about their mental health growing up in a virtual world.

[sparky39]

Mental health also crossed my mind , I'm probably over thinking it tend to do that , he does ask to go out he likes walks in the country side with the dog but as I work my days at home like most parents are filled with the weekly shop and cleaning etc, I take him out when I can , but I can't help but think he should be sorting his own entertainment out also ,,