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how the fuck do I deal with this?!

(7 Posts)
mumof3hyde Sun 06-Aug-17 20:02:14

So, DD - 13, has just had to deal with her first grief...... the loss of our family cat who had been with us since before DDs birth. She knows nothing else and I feel like she needs a distraction. This only happened a week ago, so I feel it's too soon for a new cat. How long should I wait? What else will cheer her up? Also, her step dad, my boyfriend, doesn't want a new cat and has said this to her, which makes her upset. HELP!!

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gottachangethename1 Sun 06-Aug-17 20:10:00

Poor love. We lost our cat late last year and my dd (20) was devastated. It's true that time does make it easier, although we still reminisce on occasion. I agree it's too soon for a newbie. How about planning a nice day out somewhere, just the two of you? What sort of things does she enjoy doing?

Perfectly1mperfect Sun 06-Aug-17 20:14:09

I think although distractions can be a good thing, it's a sad time for her so let her feel what she feels.

I remember when our cat died when I was 11. I felt so sad for a few months probably but as with all grief it gets easier with time.

I know our first instinct as parents is to make our children happy, but sometimes when things like this happen it isn't possible, not straight away.

If it were me, I would ask her if she wants to do anything special but I wouldn't talk about getting or not getting a new cat at the moment.

DecisionTree Sun 06-Aug-17 20:14:29

Ahhh bless her - i know how she and you feel - time is the answer

Goodbye Mog was a good book to read

corythatwas Sun 06-Aug-17 21:58:58

Very wise answer by Perfectly- she may actually need to feel what she does feel. Experiencing grief is a healthy and natural thing, and it won't be the last time, so I would let her do just that, and let her feel that you understand her and sympathise.

ChoudeBruxelles Sun 06-Aug-17 22:02:48

Let her grieve, feel sad but try to focus on some happy things too. We lost two cats and a dog last year (not a good year for pets). Ds is still sad sometimes about them

mumof3hyde Wed 09-Aug-17 11:53:14

Thank you all for your sweet replies! Still unsure of where to take her for a day out... a theme park or shopping type thing?

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