I was pregnant at just 17 but the point I found out I had already split with my ex.
I was in love with him but I couldn't cope with him, he was controlling and abusive. I lost all my friends, my confidence and self esteem. I was left alone, scared and pregnant.
My mother was quite controlling and took charge of the situation which made it impossible to think and make actions for myself whilst under her roof.
I left home at 19, 4 hours drive away to live with my new boyfriend and get away from everything.
My ex has never shown any interest, never paid s penny of mantanance. My now husband adopted my daughter at age 6 as we wanted him to have the same rights over her as he did my youngest, the same fathers name on the birth certificate so that she felt secure and no different from her sister.
I've always been honest with my eldest, it's never been out of sight out of mind. I've always made sure she knew she was adopted.
She's now 17 and our marriage has been struggling for a couple of years. I think this has triggered my daughter to look for her identity and has contacted her birth dad on social media and arranged to meet.
I've tried not to be but I'm devistated. Telling my daughter it's fine and I understand but inside I'm a complete wreck! I can't sleep, I can't eat and my minds constantly racing it's literally turned my whole world upside down.
All those feelings I had at 17 and at 35 I'm right back there! It's not logical and I feel like I'm going insane.
I'm scared he will let her down but then I'm also scared he will be supportive and I will have to face him. So many confused feelings.
I'm starting to wonder if meeting him myself will help to get some answers and just to put some of my anxiety to bed. I can't cope with the thought of just seeing him on my daughter graduation or something and it ruining those special life events, maybe I'm best to get it out now or perhaps it's best to let it play out first.
My husband is her dad and has never felt any different, do he has feelings of hurt and rejection. I just don't know how I'm feeling, I'm so up and down.
Has anyone been through this that can offer any advice?
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17 year old daughter meeting birth dad
3 replies
OhSoVintage · 03/08/2017 02:39
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