Could going into care help my younger brother?(4 Posts)
I am 15 and have never been close to my mum. I am however close to my younger siblings (7, 11 and 15) and although I live a while a away I see them reguarly, mainly to give my mum some space as she is a single mum to 3 kids and suffers mental illnesses.
Other relatives are also great with seeing the younger ones as well, but the 15yo has a difficult relationship with his father and no other family members (the younger two have a different dad and closer, larger family and I have a separate dad). This difficulty hasn't been easy on him. He's been recently diagnosed with autism and has been in serious trouble for theft and vandalism. He is physically impossible for my mum to control and will smash the entire house up to get his own away, mainly money to fund his addiction for weed. This has traumatized the younger two, but forutnately they are able to stay at their grandmothers just round the corner most days of the week.
We have just found out our mum has cancer and is in hospital receiving immediate treatment, with chemotherapy starting this Monday. She believes she will be cured in next to no times, and won't suffer severe side effects and will be out next week. This is difficult as it appears to be a lot more serious than that, and are still awaiting further test results. We can only wait.
The younger two siblings are safe living with their grandmother for a while, with their cousins and myself having them stay over regularly and ensuring they've got everything they need in the long term plan. The 15yo refuses help from any of us. He can stay at mine, my auntys, the younger ones grandmothers, but refuses. It is extremely concerning as he is a very vulnerable minor left on his own in my mums house. We have tried to intervene but he will just lie and say what you want to hear to get you to leave.
Whilst my younger siblings have a good support network we are so so concerned about the 15yo. He should not be on this own and he refuses to do anything we ask. He has no care in the world for what our mum is going through, he makes it all about himself and how its all not fair on him, yet won't let anyone of us give him everything he needs to get through this.
I think the only option I have left is the phone the Social Services and possibly the police right now. Our mum is very ill and will in no way be fit to look after her children for a long time.
I feel so guilty for even wanting this but I truly believe it is the only thing that will help in this situation at the moment. Am I a terrible person for thinking that?
I think you have to contact social services. At 15 he can't really live on his own and it sounds as if he needs a lot of support. When your mum comes home he may well have to support her too.
Do school know what is going on. It's also worth contacting the pastoral support team at school
Could anyone move in with your DB in his house? I say this because with ASD, he is likely to be more dramatically impacted by moving house. Generally, people with ASD prefer routine and familiar environments. to you all. Its a shame dbs diagnosis was so late. It will be a tendency for him to focus only on himself. It's the theory of mind.
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.