DD Self Harming

[SeldomNeeded]

I've just found out DD self harms . She's 13. We have a good close relationship and she seems happy 90% of the time but I knew something was wrong.

She said it started a month ago because she doesn't want to see her dad.

What do I do? Do I tell school? See a doctor? I'm clueless.

(Have namechanged for privacy as I've previously posted about the family court case and I don't want this tied to it if ex-h realises it's me).

[Msqueen33]

I'd talk to the school and a doctor. It needs nipping in the bud. I started at this age with a school compass then I got "lucky" and discovered razor blades for my dad's razor and it went on until I was 24. I have awful scars on every part of my body. I used it when the stuff in my head got too much to cope with.

[SeldomNeeded]

Thanks for replying. I didn't know whether to tell school. She seemed ok when I said I might need to tell them. She had some counselling at school last year (again about her dad) so I want to request it again.

[PaperdollCartoon]

Talk to the doctor and ask for referral to counselling or CBT. I self harmed for 11 years, it can be very addictive, the sooner she can learn other coping mechanisms the better.
It must be so hard for you to see her feeling this way, I would also ask her if she's self harming out due to sad feelings or angry feelings because I think different things help depending on what feelings the self harm is being used to combat.

[Msqueen33]

I'd speak to school and get her back to see a therapist. Like paperdoll says it can be addictive and it becomes the only way you can learn to cope.

[PippaFawcett]

You might also have to accept that she cannot stop yet, it is an outlet for her and therapy should find her healthier ways to deal with her feelings but that won't happen overnight.

[minnymoobear]

My DS stared recently too - 14 y/o- broke my heart when I found out.
Talking a lot helped and having 1-1 time but do have to keep an eye on him - and I got him to speak to school counsellor which helped
Sorry about your DD xx

[SeldomNeeded]

Thank you. I'll see where we go from here. Realise it could be a long road and just want to fix it, but I can't.

I feel so stupid for marrying a knobhead and ultimately putting her in a position where she is so sad and angry she harms herself.

[mollyblack]

I self harmed as a teenager and my life was "perfect" so please don't beat yourself up about it. But do seek help, I'm sure your GP or school can advise.

[SeldomNeeded]

That does actually make me feel a little better molly although I'm sorry you went through a time of self harm though.

thank you to others on here for sharing experiences. I feel less alone now.