Son, age 12, has a girlfriend, also 12. This involves the odd chaperoned date, movies together, hugging in the playground and A LOT of Instagram messaging. It has been going on for 4-5 months, so fairly serious for this age groups standards.
Thing is, I check my son's messages. He knows I do this as it was a condition of him having Instagram. And he's been quite stupid on the internet before so I've told him this is a non negotiable until he is 16 or demonstrates some internet maturity, whichever is the sooner!
His messaging from the girlfriend and friends is a stream of nightmarish drama, I think putting far too much pressure on him. I don't really know where to get advice on how to advise him as he isn't really a talker but I know he needs to develop some skills in how to deal with the drama. He isn't very socially astute either so without support from us, I don't think he will learn how to draw boundaries around stuff - eg where the drama blends into bullying...
And I have no clue how much to intervene, to back off etc. He is only 12, and an emotionally young 12 at that so non stop drama seems too much.
An example is the girl constantly accuses him of flirting with or asking our other girls. He denies it (and given he is totally besotted with her, I really doubt he is lying). And so she seems to send her friends, online and in person, to test him out. His 'friends' also get involved, talking to the girlfriend... One boy in particular, a new Y7 friend, seems to be co-opted to test out my son.
I understand that this is what teen life is like, but the constant online nature of it is new to me and I want to help him learn to deal with it.
Are there any good resources for preteens, teens or parents that can help me help him to understand what a healthy relationship looks like at this age, and what a healthy online life is?
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Pre-teen relationship help...?
5 replies
WilfSell · 05/03/2017 11:47
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