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Teenagers

University

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Boudiccano1 · 19/06/2016 10:16

Hi my daughter has just completed her first year at university and is home for the summer. She seems to be bored and hostile one minute then demanding a hug and telling me she loves me the next.

I am a widow and I also have an Autistic son who is in his first year of high school. My daughter fights with him all the time pointing out how hard he makes my life. This behaviour breaks my heart. I feel for my son who is doing so well at school and my daughters observations make me feel my life is bad.

My daughter caught a train to a party 200 miles away on Friday lunch time and hasn't been in contact since. She says she misses her friends as they have been through so much together and needs to be with them. I feel relived to have a respite from the pressure.

I love both my children very much do any of you have advice for me. I am sat here tears flowing down my face.

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bojorojo · 19/06/2016 21:25

Are these university friends or school friends? I feel she is a bit immature but I can imagine your son takes up a lot of time and she wants a bit of you for herself. She does not seem to be coping with her homelife very well. I am constantly blamed by my children for doing the wrong thing! It seems to go with being a parent. Could it be she is also missing her Dad? If she calms down with her friends that is good.

I think my other goal would be to suggest she gets a job or volunteers to help her cv. It will give her a new dimension in her life and even a bit of money. She will perhaps feel less aggravated by being at home and see the positive side. My DDs were hugging me one minute and arguing with me the next. I do feel your anxiety but it seems that she craves attention from you and is not being mature in going about it. Can you go out for the day ? Just the two of you? Buy her some clothes? Go to a show? Have some Mum and daughter time! It might help .

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Boudiccano1 · 20/06/2016 09:14

Hi Thank you for your advice. She still hasn't come home yet so I messaged her this morning. Apparently the trains are very infrequent so she doesn't know when she can get home. These are her Uni friends.
I have tried 3 days out just my daughter and me as my son is at school and bleached her hair for her. Bought her 2pairs of shoes and 2 outfits. She has a job which starts next week and she will be working 6 days a week until uni starts