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17 dd - 24 yo bf

(14 Posts)
operaha Fri 12-Jun-15 23:18:37

that's it really.
very mature 17, but still a few months from 18.
Haven't met him yet.
Had her at 18 with her then 24 year old fathershock
I'm not devastated, just trying to be ok with it all (because when I raised an eyebrow, her parentage was immediately thrown at me grin grin )

How do I be cool?

eyebags63 Sat 13-Jun-15 08:34:23

Not much you can do really is there, she is 16 so legally old enough.

You could try being super nice to him, then gushing about how wonderful he is to anyone and everyone. If she is anything like most teens that will soon put her off him.....

Donthate Sat 13-Jun-15 08:36:35

I would wait until you meet him. He may be lovely, he may not. When I was 17 my best friend dated a lovely 24 year old. I dated a not so lovely 25 year old.

Floralnomad Sat 13-Jun-15 08:44:24

I can't see what the issue is ,she's nearer 18 than 16 and you say she is mature . I started dating my husband when I was 18 and he was 26 and we've been married 26 yrs this week .

Buttercup27 Sat 13-Jun-15 08:45:52

I was just 18 when I met me now dh. He was 28 at the time. 10 years later 28 and 38 does sound half as bad.

Buttercup27 Sat 13-Jun-15 08:49:21


ragged Sat 13-Jun-15 09:06:06

Can't blame her for throwing that in your face.
I suppose put in the context of 'I want to protect you from my mistakes' which is never comments about the whole relationship but about aspects of what happened (like having to grow up much faster than you intended).

operaha Sat 13-Jun-15 09:09:33

There isn't an "issue"! I'm concerned having been in exactly the same situation (but pregnant) and the result (other than the kids) being absolutey horrific!
It was not a good example and not a path I wish my daughter to follow.
I'm nut trying to do anything about it, as pointed out she's not underage, but she's my daughter and I think it would be unnatural if I weren't concerned confused
anyway, I'll meet him soon, perhaps with my 30 year old sister and her 23 year old bf in tow!

OddBoots Sat 13-Jun-15 09:12:19

I think your own experience has understandably coloured your view, I know it won't help much but I was 17 when dating a 24 year old and we've just celebrated 20 happy years together. Regardless though, at 17 she has to make her own mistakes (or not), your best option is to keep communication as open as you can.

operaha Sat 13-Jun-15 09:17:36

communication totally is open - I said in my op that I'm not devastated, just trying to keep things ok. She has history of hysterics and whether I'm a little surprised at his age, it's fine, but of course I'm minorly concerned!
He's 9 years younger than me, older than 2 of my colleagues (teachers) but he is seeing my daughter, it's just going to be odd - need to get the meeting out of the way.
Christ, I just pray she's happy. That's all I want. She's had a shit few years, if this is what she wants and it's good, I'll be the happiest mother in towngrin

BreadmakerFan Sat 13-Jun-15 09:23:29

You can't say you want to protect her from your mistakes! Way to make your child unwanted.

alreadytaken Sat 13-Jun-15 10:04:43

I think your past is clouding your judgement, that's not a great age gap when she's nearly 18. You can legitimately be concerned that she knows about contraception but otherwise wait and see what he's like

bigTillyMint Sat 13-Jun-15 10:35:06

When I was 18 I briefly went out with a guy who was 25. He was also a teacher at the local Tech, and when we went out to bars, often ran into his students who were my age or older!

I soon decided he was too old and boring as I was off to uni - perhaps she will too?

mrschatty Sat 13-Jun-15 10:38:01

My parents were a bit off about me and DH he was 23 I was 18. Then they Met him and loved him.i hope when you meet him he's a lovely sweet guy who treats her right then age is just a number! One of the happiest couples I know are my great a and u who are 70 and 80 yo respectively!

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