aggressive behavior outside the house

[illy67]

my 14 year old has always struggled to control his temper but last night that spilled out in football training and he swore and lashed out at the coach who tried to physically break up an argument. I feel we need to address this with some help-where do i start?

[Heyho111]

He needs anger management councilling. You can get it through your school or GP. There are some good books around to help you deal with him. The explosive child is good. But he needs help. It might be worth also asking to be referred to child psychology if there is a more deep routed difficulty. I hope it works out for him.

[Alvah]

I have had the same issue with my DS, now 14. First time I asked for help for him was at 10, and the school arranged for him to speak to someone in school. It was an empathy based talking therapy, but he was let go of after a while as he seemed fine.

Last year I asked for help again when he got into a fight at school and the head teacher asked me to promise this would never happen again - as I couldn't promise that knowing how easily his temper flares... This time though it was more like a time away from the 'stress' if school session...he spoke to a youth worker once a week. Again he was dismissed, as he is coping so much better than the others who get seen, and with cut backs there aren't enough support staff.

Two holes in the wall later (in his room when in a rage) I am wanting to ask for help for him again, but he is afraid to talk about his underlying hurt and issues from childhood. So at the moment we are trying to deal with it by ourselves.

Maybe there is a better alternative than talking therapy for young boys?!!

Will follow this thread as I need advice too.

Hope you find help for your boy

[illy67]

went to the first teenage counselling session yesterday. very little success unfortunately. as my son has no obvious causes eg parental divorce, bereavement etc, there seemed very little other help or understanding of him. we were directed to a meditation web site that my husband found useful but my son was less than interested in looking at.I feel back to the beginning and lost at sea.

[Alvah]

Sorry you had little luck with counselling session.

I asked for support from school again last week, but not heard back from them.

Today DS came home saying the Head Teacher had told him to sort himself out if he wanted to come back for year 10.

He doesn't know how he is going to manage. First time I've seen him close to despair.

Tonight is the first time he's been out (apart from school) for a week after punching a mirror last Friday night. I am worried sick for him, not just tonight, but the next few years.

I am so tired of this

I hope you get somewhere with yours!

[Heyho111]

If councelling isn't the way to push for a referral to child and family psychology or CAMHS. There is help that can be given. Councelling can look at CBT to help him control his thoughts. There doesn't need to be an episode that caused it. It can be triggered by hormones. You could look for a councellor that specialises in CBT. There is also mindfulness but he may not buy into that one as its a little like meditation.