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Help,My 16yr old DD and boys&Body Image

(9 Posts)
MumIsASuperHero Thu 20-Nov-14 21:41:18

Hi all
Sorry if this is long and winded but need some advice googled body image and teens and mumsnet came up so ive joined up. Hopefully you wise people will assist me?
Anyway basically my dd has always being bullied since 5 and last year she started self harm and when she was 8 suffered with a mild form of anorexia. She has since gone to boarding school and loves it however a few of the boys are a bit inmmature and keep making naSty comments saying shell never get a boyfriend and that shes ugly and fat and saying she'll never loose her virginty and stuff. Obviously this is affecting my dd and tonight in prep it got worse a sixth former took it so hadn't a clue how to deal with the situation. My dd is. Weekly boarder so she's home tomorrow but she's reported the incident and its being dealt with. But I need help how do I boost her self esteem? She's always Saying she's fat and she's not. I think she feels if worse because she's mixed race and has curly hair and feels like an outsider to other girls. She's just really down at the minute and ive given her the usual talk about body image but it isn't working. Any help how to boost her confidence?

Heyho111 Fri 21-Nov-14 06:16:09

Hi. You must be so worried. Is there a possibility of her accessing a councillor either through school or privately at the weekend.
Sometimes they need a little extra help than we can give. You may also benefit from talking to one too to learn stratagies to help her. You sound like you're a lovely mum and doing everything you can for her. They will be able to give you stratagies to help her even more.

magpieC Fri 21-Nov-14 06:36:21

Is there anything in Dove self esteem mission you could use?

SavoyCabbage Fri 21-Nov-14 06:48:54

There are some great books and articles on self esteem on the Mighty Girl website.

My dd is mixed race and I find it an issue sometimes. Especially as I live in a country that is quite racist. I do have to put thought into how I can enable her to see positive images of girls like her. My dd watches a girl on YouTube do hair tutorials. I will ask her what they are called.

SavoyCabbage Fri 21-Nov-14 06:50:57

youtu.be/gDJnIGgCZKE

MumIsASuperHero Fri 21-Nov-14 13:42:09

My dd watches youtube and things and she beauty blogs she's just not confident with Her body and when all her friends are off having boyfriends and girls do they whole well your 16 havent you had sex? Trying to explain to her that someday she will find have healthy relationships is hard,when the boys are telling her she'll never ever date boys etc.. I never suffered with anything like this at school so it's new to me and racism well that's a big thing

specialsubject Sat 22-Nov-14 18:58:59

reminders:

- girls lie. Very few of them will have actually had sex. And if they have, so what? People with class don't jabber about their sex lives.
- the most important thing about a body is that it works and is healthy.
- is she equipped with all the knowledge about the evil beauty 'industry' - the faking of photographs, the lies in claims as to what cosmetics and creams do, the actual healthy weight range, etc etc? It is quite interesting to research.

and raise merry hell with the school to sort the bullying, and what sounds like racist abuse.

MumIsASuperHero Sat 22-Nov-14 21:57:40

She's Being to 2 schools before and she's really enjoying it here. Really loves it. The boy who has done it is in a lot of trouble for calling another girl a gypsy etc the school are very quick with dealing with things. The other mixed race girl ( who is a lot lighter than my girl) has exactly the same things from the same boys. My dd understands it is immaturity and sillyness. Guess it is true the saying boys mature later than girls. It isn't bullying as such as it happens maybe near the end of term when everyone is tired. Doesn't happen frequently I think the problem is the sixthformer took prep and couldn't handle the boys.

MumIsASuperHero Mon 24-Nov-14 16:51:34

update
The boys have being suspended for the rest of the week and they break up next week,so she'll have some peace

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