Alcohol found in teenagers room..help!

[febel]

Hubby just been in 16 year olds room (unbeknownst to me) as we have NO little side plates left in the cupboard. she has a history of secreting pots in her room (despite our asking all 3 girls not to eat in rooms..she ignores us and I have let it go) He called me in and lying on her floor, where he had put them after finding them in her drawers , was an empty bottle of Tanglefoot beer and a half full bottle of Schnapps. She has got them from our cellar obviously (no, we aren't mega rich, just live in Victorian house with cellar!) Am devastated, never even occurred to me that she would help herself. Her two elder sisters never did, but she is a different kettle of fish, and always has been. Not much respect, does what she wants. she is 16, and at work at moment ...I have sent her a photo of what we have found so she can brick it all afternoon.

PLEASE, can someone tell me what I can do? Yes, buy yet another lock (had to buy one for elder sisters room as she kept nicking clothes) for the cellar (which she will pay for) but what else? What would you do? Don't know why she is like this....arsey, spends a lot of time in room on I pad etc, disrespectful, very violent tempered...

[anon2013]

I would see how she is when she gets in. Hopefully she'll apologise. I'd want to know why she's drinking in her room alone and how long it's gone on for, I wouldn't put a lock on I'd tell her you trust her not to do it again (but I don't know what she's like obviously!)

[febel]

No, would feel happier with lock on, she is at home all next week, half term and I am at work. There is a lot of wine and alcohol in cellar, would be worried as have tried to trust her before and she has a history of betraying it and just goes her own way, regardless. She is my nemesis as my other two were relatively easy but she has been something else entirely, and not in a good way!

[SPsTombRaidingWithCliff]

Saying she is your nemesis is a bit harsh dont you think?

Have you asked why she is drinking alone? At that age I was drinking with friend. Never at home, alone in my room

[bigTillyMint]

febel, I would also be worried about why she has been drinking alone in her room (unless these are left from having friends over?) and were hidden in her drawers.

Teens can be so tricky (don't I know it) and she may be drinking to drown her sorrows if she is doing it on her own.

You have my sympathies.

[febel]

No it's not, and can I say you don't know her at all or our circumstances. She has had me walking the streets in tears many many times, even at 1AM on xmas eve. Her sisters also find her hard. I work for a living with difficult to educate teenagers, and believe you me I am not being harsh.

[flow4]

Is it the fact that's she's drinking that bothers you, febel? Or that she's doing it in her room? Or that she took it without asking? It's not clear to me... A lot of 16yos drink at home with their parents; lots more drink with friends... If your cellar is still full of alcohol, she has been much more restrained than many...

My own reaction would be along the lines of "How dare you take our booze without asking? Replace it by Xday, and if you ever do that again, you can expect to lose your allowance too".

[febel]

That she's doing it in her room..and has helped herself without asking.

as for drinking....I bought her the cider she took with her last night to party so that doesn't bother me, as long as she asks etc. It's the dishonesty which bothers me
As for restrained...her sisters never thought to take it and they drank, but not OUR alcohol without asking! She has a drink with us...

[flow4]

Right, so your reaction is similar to mine. Would my suggested response work for you too?

[adeucalione]

Are you sure she's drinking it in her room? A friend has recently found that her DS was mixing horrific alcoholic cocktails at home and taking them to school in water bottles, to share with his friends.