Alcohol and teenagers....

[pixwix]

Ds1 (almost 16) is pretty good - responsible, funny, happy etc. We have occasional ups and downs, but we have a tremendous bank of goodwill between us to see us through the rough patches. he's quiet, reserved, but with lots of friends. He's a self confessed slight geek - has built his own computer etc..

Aanyways - every now and then, he and a circle of mates spend the night at someones house having a LAN party (local area network) with their computers. This weekend, it was the turn of one of his mates - I dropped him off sleeping bag in tow, and hoiking bits of his recently assembled computer....

Am working the next day, but on a late shift. Arrangement was that ex-dh (who I get on well with), would pick him up next morning from his mates, and drop computer off at mine at around 11, and also to pick up his fathers day present, then would go back to his house with children.

Cue 11am - Ds1 shoots through the front door like a greyhound out of a trap, and starts honking in the downstairs toilet. Ex-dh follows, wearily carrying a kitchen bowl. ds1 emerges and starts to cry saying "I'm sorry mum - please don't have a go - I feel really bad - I had four shots of vodka, and have been puking since 2am"

"ah!" I say - taken aback. he's had the odd glass of wine at Christmas with a meal, but this is the first time he's had free rein with alcohol at a party with his mates - I didn't know there was going to be alcohol, and neither did he.

He's normally very sensible, and I remember doing the same thing at his age

He's fine now, and we've had a long talk- he's my first teenager, and am a bit at sea - is this 'normal'? how did you deal with it?
please don't flame me..

[Monty27]

Ah bless him, he probably won't do it again in a hurry :)

[MrsFrederickWentworth]

If he's been sick.at his host, which is likely given the kitchen bowl, get him.to write and letter and toy may need to offer to pay for cleaning, up to you as to whether you make him contribute or not.

He sounds a reasonable person, so no point getting cross, just make a few clear points.

Eg, never drink alcohol because you are thirsty or to look cool,

Grape and grain do not mix well

Always apologise ASAP if it gets out of control

Always eat.before and drink water afterwards

Have some sensible excuses for not drinking, white lies ( on medication the most useful).

[MrsFrederickWentworth]

Ps perfectly normAL. I expect you said all the right things. He sounds nice.

[pixwix]

Thanks guys! Mrs FW - fortunately he managed to make the toilet each time! The other thing that later came to light was that the parents were away, and host boy has three older brothers ... Those tips are v. handy though - thanks for that! x

[pixwix]

...and I'm such a slack parent for not knowing this!

[MrsFrederickWentworth]

I wish I had been told them....

[Startail]

Long before I was 18 I'd have known 5 was my limit for knowing what I was doing and by 16 I'd know that spirits (gin in my case) don't make me sick, but cider and especially wine does.

Rural area, with very lax pubs and disco bars, I probably drank more between 14-18 and than I did at university, where my friends tended to tea and chatting.

As for hangovers, at 45 I've still never had one, I throw up or fall asleep before drinking enough to regret it. Also booze makes me thirsty, so I think I naturally drink water.

[watchingout]

Aww bless him. No flaming here - you've handled it well. And it's all perfectly normal....

[chocoluvva]

It sounds like he's had a useful experience of the effects of drinking too much in a (more or less) safe environment with no major harm done.

It's very common for younger teens to get very drunk at parties.

I'd ask him about the evening - was the vodka planned? Perhaps you and he could think of something he could say another time if he's feeling pressured to drink more than he should. "No thanks, I'll have another after this coke" or something.

[Butterflywgs]

Aww, perfectly normal. Sounds like he's a sensible lad - I bet he won't do it again in a hurry. Still can't drink Bacardi due to teenage experimentation.
I'd be more worried if a 16yo had never tried alcohol tbh.
Have a chat about limits as others said, otherwise don't worry.

[specialsubject]

well, now he knows what happens if he guzzles too much booze. You end up in a disgusting state.

get him to apologise to the host and do any cleaning necessary. Remind him that swilling the stuff in that quantity can actually kill you, and that children are much more vulnerable to it.

lesson learned with consequences.