help:(

[simmerdoon]

I'm desperate-my 15 year old daughter keeps taking clothes, make-up from my room then lying about it. When shes found out she just says she doesnt know why she does it but doesnt appear very remorseful. She has even recently sold one of my items to a friend. I've said if she asks first then i may let her borrow something but she doesnt. This is an on-going problem and it is now upsetting the whole family because we are always arguing. Its so frustrating as we get on well the majority of the time. I need advice on where to go with this. Her room is an absolute tip but i even decided just to ignore this.

[eatyourveg]

Can you lock your bedroom door?

[Reaa]

Agree with eatyourveg lock on bedroom door or take something of hers every time she does it you?

[simmerdoon]

i have thought about a lock but i suppose i'm annoyed that i have to do this! I'll try the taking something of hers but tried it once before and things got worse:( The effect all the arguing is having on the rest of the family worries me. Just been up to her room to look for something else thats missing and its a bomb site! Found a letter on her desk telling me what a crap mum I am and shes written in red lipstick on her wall I hate my mum. Feeling really down.

[Rosa]

Get a black bin bag and put everything that is on the floor in it . If she wants it back she has to a) stop nicking your stiff and b) stop selling it. Everytime she takes something of yours remove her phone / computer or whatever. DOn't bother arguing with her as obviously it is getting nowhere.

[Astelia]

Get a lock pronto. I know you shouldn't need to, but you need to stop this happening straight away.

Get a bucket, cloth and wall cleaner and tell her to sort her wall out. When that is done she sorts the floor; putting things back in the wardrobe if not worn, one pile for washing, one for throwing away.

Once all this is done take her out for a coffee and talk to her about why she is behaving like this and what is upsetting her, she doesn't sound happy. Her behaviour isn't the behaviour of a contented teen. Mine are very messy but they wouldn't dream of writing on their wall or taking my things.

[simmerdoon]

yeah looks like ill try the lock. i'll get her to clean the wall.
Believe it or not we do chat a lot she even texts me when shes on her lunch and i'm at work with funny stories or just to ask what i'm doing, we even go to an exercise class together twice a week and she talks to me about boys etc.
This is what i can't understand.........everything seems fine then she does something stupid like this! Taking her phone away is the only thing thats worked in the past but am i ready for the fallout?!