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Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Teenagers

Dd calling me every day plus texts!

14 replies

weegiemum · 23/01/2013 13:17

I'm posting this in teens as my dd1 will be a teenager 2 weeks today!!

She's a happy, confident, gorgeous girl. Doing very well at school despite dyslexia - and her Art and Tech Studies teachers are both suggesting early exams as she's so good. In first at high school (as in Scotland so started school at age 5.6). She has a great group of close friends, girls and boys. She's a bit of a thorn in the side of what she calls "the popular girls" because she won't engage, she has her own agenda and interests (art, music as she plays the accordion in a band, church, swimming in a local team).

She texts me every morning to say she's on the bus, then that she got to school. Every afternoon to say she's on the bus and just getting off, 5 mins away. She calls me for a wee chat every lunchtime.

I'm worried it's too much? Why would an S1 (y7) girl want to talk to her mum every lunchtime?

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hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 23/01/2013 13:23

DD was like that as a teen and even into her first year at uni.

DS wasn't and isn't now even though he's moved away from home.

I always just thought it was their different personality types. DD was always quite happy to go for sleepovers, go into town with her mates, go to swim meets etc with club mates but she just likes to chat to everyone and anyone who will listen. DS was more of a home bird, never did sleepovers, never went out with mates etc but was quite happy with his won company. If DD had been reluctant to do things by herself I think I would've been more concerned but she wasn't and isn't. I just think it's who she is, she could seriously chew the hind leg off a donkey with her chatter. Is your DD happy and self-sufficient, is that the same for yours or is she more dependant on you than you think she should be for her age?

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hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 23/01/2013 13:24

Is your DD... Sorry should say 'My DD... '

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weegiemum · 23/01/2013 13:45

She's very self sufficient. Goes to school 2 bus rides away (across Glasgow city) nae bother, meets friends in town at weekend, keeps room tidy, helps in the house, tolerant of younger siblings etc. Goes to guides, accordion lessons, band practice, swim training and meets etc no trouble, often on the bus (I'm disabled and medically unfit to drive, dh works long hours).

I wasn't worried till I read a thing on here a couple of days ago where someone was called obsessive as her ds txd every day to say he'd got to school!

My dd is a natural chatterbox though. Maybe that's it?

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itsallinmyhead · 23/01/2013 13:54

I wish my DD would text me everyday to say she'd arrived at school safe but she won't. She's older than your DD but I wouldn't be upset if I did receive the occasional text.

I think it sounds like your DD is very loving and quite happy to contact you (despite it being uncool at high school) lucky you

I wouldn't worry at all. She's obviously a confident young woman.

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exexpat · 23/01/2013 13:55

If she is choosing to text/call you because she is chatty and likes to be in touch, that sounds fine, though I'd still say it's a bit unusual for a girl her age to want to contact her mum that much every day.

I think I read the other thread you mentioned, and in that case I think the boy was texting his mother because she wanted him to, and she had all sorts of worries and insecurities which meant she was excessively anxious and over-protective towards him - it was all coming from her side, not the son's.

That really doesn't sound like what is happening with your DD, unless you put pressure on her to text you or say you're worried if you haven't heard from her? Maybe she's worried that you are lonely if you are stuck at home because of your disability? That would make her a very caring sort of girl, but you don't want her to start feeling she is responsible for keeping you happy.

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TheOriginalNutcracker · 23/01/2013 13:59

Umm I think it's lovely.

I have two teen dd's. If they are out with their mates I get zero txts at all, until they want a lift lol. If they are at school, sometimes I won't hear from them and sometimes they will txt me at breaktime or lunchtime to tell whats been going on. Ok it is usually to moan about something, but still.

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weegiemum · 23/01/2013 14:16

I know she worries a bit about my disability, but I work 2 days a week, volunteer etc it's not that bad (though I spend 2 days a month on hospital!)

Figured out today 2 of her group of friends were also on the phone to their mums so it might just be a group trait! She is only first year despite her age and school is about 50 mins away on the bus.

Also realised she calls most on the days she has a spelling session in English or Gaelic (she's bilingual). Might talk to the learning support teacher, it might be stressing her.

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MedusaIsHavingABadHairDay · 23/01/2013 14:57

Both of my girls..now 20 and 18 and both at university, text me every morning:) I usually get a call every day or so as well, often if they are on the bus or walking home from lectures..they just like the reassurance of a quick chat or 'love you' text. Both are confident and happy..:)

DS1 19, on the other hand never ruddy texts even when he is driving to see his girlfriend in snow and knows I'm worried!!

Just personalities I think:)

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LittleChimneyDroppings · 23/01/2013 14:59

She sounds great. Nothing to worry about there.

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weegiemum · 23/01/2013 16:19

I think I'm not worried. Just worried that I should be worried ......

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Hassled · 23/01/2013 16:26

She sounds absolutely lovely - just enjoy those texts and phonecalls. Whether she needs to hear your voice for reassurance that all is well with the world, or whether she just fancies a chat - it doesn't matter. She's still very young - it may not be the same when she's 16!

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loveulotslikejellytots · 23/01/2013 16:33

I used to do the same when I was at school. I just liked having a chat. Admittedly I didn't have many friends at school so part of it was out of loneliness, but I wouldn't worry. Your DD just sounds as though she likes letting you know she's safe, so you don't worry, and likes having a catch up during the day.

I still text my Mum every morning when I get to work. She likes to know I got there ok (I'm 23, married and have a 5 minute drive to work) but is just our little routine. I might then phone her every other day for a chat. I wouldn't worry. As long as she's happy let her carry on.

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ajandjjmum · 23/01/2013 16:34

DD is 19 and regularly rings and texts.

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weegiemum · 23/01/2013 16:39

I'm glad you all think it's ok.
By the time I was her age my mum had left (with my dads best friend) and I'm pretty hyper-aware my experience of "mothering" a teen is going to be screwed (though I had a fab step mum from 15). And as I'm ancient 42 I didn't grow up in the mobile era!!