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Dd's bedroom is REVOLTING. WWYD?

(160 Posts)
TheSecondComing Mon 17-Dec-12 10:39:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

specialsubject Tue 18-Dec-12 15:37:17

looks like Kate Moss? Oh well, nobody's perfect.

hope there is progress soon.

softpaw Tue 18-Dec-12 15:54:13

yeah to Angelico. I've done all this with three daughters..if anyone needs hints.They are now independant,wonderful,and tidy women!!

MaryChristmaZEverybody Tue 18-Dec-12 16:03:17

I have just enjoyed read this thread through my fingers while chuckling quietly to myself in a slightly manic way

dd is going to (apparently) tackle hers this weekend. I foresee a bit of a row grin

DontmindifIdo Tue 18-Dec-12 18:41:25

Lilibet - you do the same, say if they want to live like that you'll give them the bin bags to take to their new home. If they want the advantages of living in your house, then they need to stick at rules. If they want to live in a slum, that's their choice, but they pay for the privilage.

HECTheHallsWithRowsAndFolly Tue 18-Dec-12 18:45:53

Go in, take lots of photos and email them to her and tell her that if her room isn't sorted within 5 days, the photos are going on facebook? (she doesn't need to know that's a bluff grin )

Perhaps looking at photos of the room will make her see it more than actually seeing it.

If that makes any sense.

ihearsounds Tue 18-Dec-12 19:05:59

Stop running around after her. Why does she need to do anything when she knows eventually that you will sort it.

She does her own washing, she is an adult and should be more than capable of doing a load.
No food and drink in bedrooms. I have never understood why food gets taken into rooms.
No more pack lunches made for her, what is the point when she is throwing it in the bin?

Until she does as she is asked, then she can have no more visitors. You need to man the fook up, but not by doing it for her. You need to man the fook up and start instilling some house rules, and encouraging her to be as independent as possible. If she is going travelling, she is going to be in a lot of trouble as mummy will not be there to run around after her.

AgathaHoHoHo Tue 18-Dec-12 19:14:48

Our 21yr old dd is exactly the same. Food, plates etc, face wipes, clothes etc etc all over the floor. I think people whose children are not quite so extreme is this respect often come out with plans that they say will sort it out and make them change, but the reality of it is different. Our ds is the opposite and likes a clean and tidy room.

Over the last 3 or so weeks, and for no apparent reason, our dd has started to take action on her room. She has charity bagged a load of clothes (gone into the bags dirty though), and is generally throwing stuff out. She says she realises that she has too much stuff and that is why she struggles to keep her room clean/tidy. She has an unfortunate ebay habit and has bought so many clothes off there, most of which she only wears once or twice. I am hoping she has seen the error of her ways, although I have to say that I will believe it when I see it.

chunops Wed 19-Dec-12 17:18:26

When she is out just get bin bags and stuff everything into it including food etc don,t segregate it leave outside,don't wash,iron for her if you do she will have partly won. To have a untidy room is fine, but to have health problems in her room is another thing she just has contempt for the whole situation.

cwtchontoast Wed 02-Jan-13 15:54:27

Hmm, I think a lot of people fail to realise that messiness is not strictly a teenage problem, and that some people genuinely struggle to keep their space tidy.

I was very messy as a teen (and still am really, I only really have a big clean up when dh thinks its becoming unacceptable.) And my parents punishments only served to hurt my feelings as I found it hard between school, work and keeping up a social life to find motivation to keep my bedroom tidy.

I understand your dd's messy bedroom offends you, and you feel something must be done, but punishing an 18yo for this sort of thing will only drive a wedge between you, she could probably do with a bit sympathy and a non-judgmental hand to get the ball rolling.

TheSitChewAceChien Wed 02-Jan-13 16:45:00

So relieved to find this thread.

Lots of posters have expressed my exact feelings, thought I was alone in having The Fear of what lurks upstairs in my 13 year old DDs room.

It makes me so miserable. It does sound just like a lot of other rooms on this thread (which eases the 'why me?!' feeling slightly)
Bus tickets! The girl gets 2 buses a day, and never throws the ticket away. Mouldy cups. Knocked over nail varnish bottles. Dirty underwear stuffed in drawers with chocolate wrappers... When she opens the door, bits of papery crap float out and cover the landing.

We had a leak from the bathroom once, which leaked into her room. Because her carpet was so covered in crap, I didn't know about it until it soaked through the layers of junk on her floor. By which time the carpet had rotted angry

Like the all the other posters messy roomed DCs, DD is a lovely girl, and I have no other trouble with her but the mess is driving me crazy.

I'm very tidy, hate 'stuff' cluttering the house, get anxious about mess- but come from a long line of hoarders on my mums side!

I just wish there was a magic wand I could wave. I'd let you all use it grin

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