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How much do you give your 18 year old?

(41 Posts)
RavenVonChaos Fri 07-Dec-12 07:17:12

Do you pay for phone, buses, clothes etc?

It's getting me down and costing me a fortune!

Acandlelitshadow Wed 02-Jan-13 11:48:54

DS is 17 and Year 13. He's had a Sunday job since he was 16 along with a freebie paper round he's had since 13.

He pays for his own phone and entertainment and we pay for his clothes. They're mostly from chazzers and car boots as they've always been but we've found enough "desirable" labels (Superdry,Hollister A&F,Topman ) to keep him happy grin He also has £15 a month towards a healthy school lunch cake in the school canteen.

I anticipate this changing in the summer when he will (hopefully) find an apprenticeship and be contributing more.

pinkbraces Wed 02-Jan-13 10:55:16

My DD is 18, for the two years she was at sixth form I put £100 per month into her account, she had two part time jobs and earnt enough to cover clothes, holidays, anything fun.

She started Uni in October and at the moment is struggling to find a job, which means we are giving her a lot more money. She hates this and so do I, hopefully she will find something soon.

amumthatcares Wed 02-Jan-13 10:47:56

My DD has just turned 18, is in full time education and has had a part time job since Nov 2011 (she works Sat & Sun every weekend). We pay her phone contract, buy her essential toiletries, pay any school expenses and give her £20 per week - for which she has to do certain household chores.

She passed her driving test in March and we bought her a car. We tax it, MOT it and maintain it (ie tyres etc). She has to put her own petrol in and pay her own insurance.

She also had a girls holiday this year for which she saved and paid for herself - holiday and spending money.

If she gets certain grades on A level essays etc, she gets rewarded financially and we occasionally give her £10/20 just for the sheer hell of it! [big grin]

gettingeasier Sun 23-Dec-12 12:32:16

Just 16yo DS gets £80 a month . I expect this to cover all socialising,presents for people and clothes he decides he wants as opposed to needs. Twice a year I give him around £150 for shoes and clothes.

I have realised through asking around and threads like this that this is on the generous side but he is expected and mostly delivers to do chores regularly

This past couple of months he was fortunate to get a Christmas job 20 hours a week so I am hoping this has given him a taste for earning and that he will persevere in looking for a weekend job in the New Year

toriaenator Fri 21-Dec-12 08:45:57

My 18 year old is in a pretty tough university and I would rather she focus on making the most of her studies and doing well then money; i give her 300 euros a month (this also has electricity bills included) which covers groceries, household items, seasonal clothing she may need, books and other school supplies, and a few outings. Any extra outings or clothing or makeup or what not, she uses her own money that she has saved.

ecomomma Fri 21-Dec-12 08:03:36

In response to the main post question how`much do you give a 18yr old , i would say it depends on factors such as are they in education still, are they working part time?
My DD is 17 studying A Levels.
I pay 20 month for phone and 100 a month to her account to cover lunches, rail fare trip to cinema, youth club outings etc Once this is spent no more till my next payday!
DD has to do regular housework and cook dinner twice a week and babysit younger sibling whenever asked.
I have agreed with my DD that whilst she would like a part-time job, i want her to focus on her studies, she has the rest of her life to work.
I left school at 16 and worked all my life and recently returned to study a degree but it is not easy when your a parent, have financial responsibilities and run a household. I explained i wish for her to study now,not later as i did.
We shop for clothes every 3 months or so, look for best deals online and use her UCAS card for discount. If DD wants a more costly item, then DD either has on a ' i pay now, pay me back later' scheme and uses her birthday, Christmas money or she saves for it.
I have taught her the importance of money and the value. We live within my financial means and have no debt.
I cover the cost of school trips and will pay for driving lessons when she starts them.
When the time comes for her to have a car, i plan to purchase a new one for myself and DD can have the current one.
I chose to be a parent and will support her throughout her life financially and emotionally as my parents have for me.
Once she has studyied and gained employment she can save to take me on a holiday in my old age and look after me!!

PottedShrimp Wed 12-Dec-12 20:13:00

At present we are paying £20 mobile, £15 cinema card, petrol and car insurance as seasonal job has come to an end, hoping it is not for long though! Still full time education aged 18.

SecondhandRose Wed 12-Dec-12 20:09:14

Oh and toiletries or he would stink!

SecondhandRose Wed 12-Dec-12 20:08:17

Phone, bed and board. Nothing else. He earns his own money with internet advertising.

morethanpotatoprints Tue 11-Dec-12 22:20:49


That is the same for us and ds friends parents think likewise.
I personally think it is important to get the message across that yes we all understand its hard finding work, but this is real life and you need to be able to support yourself.
No effort means no money. Also they have to help around the house and I don't just mean housework. Both dss have helped dh with various maintenance and DIY jobs, plumbing, building etc. It has given them skills to look after their own homes.

mumeeee Tue 11-Dec-12 20:12:02

Noisytoys it is not easy to get a job. The rule in our house is that they start trying to get a job at 16 but we still pay them an allowance unless they don't make any effort at all.

morethanpotatoprints Mon 10-Dec-12 23:33:31

I too will agree jobs are not easy to find and it has worsened in the past 3 years.

Ds1 21 is completely on his own financially and has been mostly since 16. He worked through college and uni and bought own car, insurance, lessons etc and has hardly asked for anything.

Ds2 just 18, is doing A levels and can't find a job for love nor money.
Even though its difficult and we understand, there are no major handouts.
Anything for college we buy. He has his family allowance and that is it.
He is treated exactly the same as older ds1 as we believe in them being independant and no way will we have 25 year olds living with mum and Dad, lol. So he pays for any entertainment including phone, clothes, shoes, driving lessons etc.

charlearose Sun 09-Dec-12 05:13:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SecretSantaSquirrels Sat 08-Dec-12 14:36:59

musicposy it was a very hard lesson for DS when he didn't get the part time jobs he applied for. School had done surprisingly little to help them prepare for job applications. (No GCSE grades in it for them --cynical).
He's always got good grades at school and thought that would be enough. It didn't even get him interviews. Plus as you say it's hard to find something that's only a few hours. I wouldn't want him working all weekend or evenings. He's doing 5 AS subjects and needs time to have a life as well.
I did though think it would be good for him to have a bit of experience of the real world as well as some extra pocket money. He was very lucky to get a little job in a cafe one evening a week. It does however cost me nearly as much in petrol to take him to and fro, but that is because of where we live and I accept that as the price to pay.

BackforGood Sat 08-Dec-12 13:37:49

My eldest is 16. We pay for necessary clothes, subs for his Explorers, camps, dinners, and he has £16 a month pocket money.
Apparently this isn't enough to live on, so he has gone out and got himself 2 jobs. He can then buy unnecessary clothes, concert tickets, "going out" expenses, etc. I expect that to continue for all of mine while they are at school. I suppose it will depend on what they do after that.

Cybbo Sat 08-Dec-12 12:59:10

I pay £10 a month for d's phone and get her clothes occasionally

She up has a job and tends to pay for herself , concerts etc

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Sat 08-Dec-12 12:57:50

No, music she is not the only one. Jobs are very hard to find, not like when I were a lass.

musicposy Sat 08-Dec-12 12:26:50

Jobs are incredibly hard to come by, I agree. DD applied for quite a few thinking she would get some Christmas work but had no joy. She's hard working, friendly, personable, clever - so (even from my biased viewpoint) I'm thinking if she can't get a job then who can? Trouble is I think that anything advertised has 100s of applicants - probably all clever, personable, friendly students! Lots of firms want things that don't fit with her college hours. So many places want, say 3 days a week, Thurs - Sat for example. Who on earth can work those hours? I'm guessing people who want full time but can't get that either. sad

Plus her A levels and dance combined take a lot of time and I don't want her to sacrifice her A level results for the sake of a few pounds we could probably provide.

I have worried that lots of her friends have jobs, though and so she'll struggle later to get into the job market - but it seems reading on here as though she's not the only one, which is encouraging.

KatieScarlett2833 Sat 08-Dec-12 11:34:12

Dd is17 still at school and has 2 jobs. We pay phone contract and car insurance and 15 per week for lunches. Also all school clothing and supplies, coats and footwear.

SecretSantaSquirrels Sat 08-Dec-12 10:57:41

Jobs are very hard to come by.
Plus I think that as DS is working hard at college I am happy to support him. Because that's what it is. If your child has left education then certainly they should be self supporting but unless you really can't afford it it seems hard to expect them to support themselves as well as study.
One of DSs friends was working so many hours when he did his GCSEs that his grades suffered considerably.
I was also one who was working full time at 16. I don't want that for my children.

OneHandFlapping Sat 08-Dec-12 10:54:05

18 year old DS is at uni. We pay the difference between his student loan and his food/accommodation costs. He pays for everything else out of his holiday earnings.

Myliferocks Sat 08-Dec-12 10:48:29

The only thing we pay for our 16 yr old DD is the £30 per month for her bus ticket to get to college.
She has a part time job which she has had a couple of years now although her hours are reduced in the winter and she only works at the weekend.
She buys everything and pays £10 per month for her contract phone sim.
She is one of 5 so it helps that she buys all her stuff that she needs.

nagynolonger Sat 08-Dec-12 10:40:34

To be fair jobs are much harder to come by now. My sons have all tried hard to find work to fit around their school work. Friends that do have part time jobs got them through family connections.

I am willing to pay for necessary things but not driving lessons, car, hoildays with mates, gap years etc. My eldest two went to university and we helped out but any debt was theirs. If they lived at home and worked full time they paid a share towards household expenses. An 18 yearold is an adult (once they have finished school) and IMO you do them no favours paying for everything.

Astelia Sat 08-Dec-12 10:31:00

We pay for everything for DD1 17 as there are no jobs available to her. She would like a Saturday job but the only thing that comes her way is a bit of babysitting.

So we do phone contract, clothes, toiletries, books, stuff for school, lunches. Her pocket money is for extras (she is into Art and buys lots of paints and craft supplies), socialising and saving.

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman Fri 07-Dec-12 23:32:42

Gawd, I was mean. I gave them nothing once they were 18.

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