16 yr old son

[Hadenuff100]

16 yr old sons behaviour has got really bad over last 6 months, has pushed ex wife around and I have actually came to blows with him a couple of times (sounds terrible as this is not answer and i never thought i'd end up fighting with my son) trying to remove him from house when he kicks off . He has smashed things in house, bullies brother, just seems to want to eat rubbish all the time. He is now refusing school, he did very well last year, we were very proud of him and told him so considering this was during our separation, and just seems to hate authority figures and just wants to lay in bed all day and sit on internet or PS2 all the time.

He has started smoking and drinking, and seems interested in drugs (was smoking tea! and ordered legal highs of internet).

We have asked the police to speak to him on a number of occassions, spoken to family doctor but dont seem to be making any progress at all.

A doctor came to house to see him and barricaded himself in room shouting and swearing, when dr went upstairs to speak to him he changed in an instant and let him in so it seems his problem is with us.The dr thought he could be depressed and referred him to CAMHS.

We and other family members have tried to talk to him to no avail, says he will get a job but he has no idea where.We talk to him and at night he says he is going to school but come the morning he refuses.

We now have a meeting at school and they are basically going to make him leave if he does not attend. We have told him his mother cant afford to keep him if this happens as she will lose her tax credit and child benefit, we dont care about money side but thought this might make him realise the gravity and reality of his actions.

He does not seem to care at all that the whole family is being turned upside down by his behaviour. We have told him repeatedly that we love him and want the best for him, but he wont listen to any sense.

Any ideas as at end of tether.

Thanks

[mumblechum1]

It sounds as though it's the failure of your and his mother's marriage that's sparked this off; if that is the case then I'd suggest you get a referral to Relateen, an offshoot of Relate for children and adolescents.

Relateen would work with your son to help him come to terms with the changes in his life and to accept the breakdown of your and his mum's relationship.

It's not at all unusual for children of divorced or divorcing parents to become extremely angry, I saw a lot of this stuff when I was a divorce lawyer and made many referrals to Relateen, as they are generally pretty successful.

[flow4]

You might like to have a look at this thread , Hadenuff. You'll find lots of other people having similar problems with their teens, and advice and ideas from others who've been through it...