a "kevin" teenager has arrived in our house..!!!! help..

[booksinbed]

Lovely ds- fifteen and half - saying he wants to be left alone - i get it- but it s always always on x box after school at 5 until bed- exept tea and washing up.wont read etc,walk dog ,watch tv with us,have pals round - rushes up to room after tea and washing up.

seems grumpy- short fuse - worried its the dreaded x box in part making him a grump????.allsuggestions which seem to come from us in his view which i try to limit a bit as im super annoying at the mo i know !!! -which we try to make inviting how bout go out for tea etc - fall on deaf ears if we suggest anything but ok if he does which i try to grab haha !!! eg took him to local takeaway - was chatting a bit bout his day and he saying why was i asking petty and irrelalant questions

He is fine at weekends x box wise - half x box ,half pals,sport ,sleep overs -etc etc - so maybe its not the x boxwe try to make life intresting ish off x box but to no avail..this normal ........??????dont mind teens wanting space but im just worried all the x box is affecting mood - in addition to usual teen mood s in mean????????!!!!i need advice wether to try to limit his x box time and if so im not sure what he would actually do !

[booksinbed]

bump xxx help!!!

[LaurieFairyCake]

Homework?? He must get some, if he's claiming he's doing it at school then it's not going to be done that well.

Yes, I'd limit the x box to an hour or 2 - its not healthy to be on it that long.

[TheCalmingManatee]

Wow - well done for getting to 15 before he become uncommunicative and fluent in "grunt". When they get to that age, you ask them a question and its all ughhhrrr auuuuggg rrrrrrr or variations therof! So to that degree its normal.

I think he should be encouraged not to disappear off to his room ALL the time though, i agree that the X box is probably having a negative affect on his mood. I remember tomb raider making me feel so uptight that i couldn't play it. Its all the adrenalin and aggression in the games. I would be looking for some sort of compromise, but im sorry, i don't have any suggestions - the one glimmer of hope is THIS TOO WILL PASS!

[AuntySib]

Usual teen DS then! mine were like this, beginning to grow out of this now 17 & 19. With hindsight, i would have limited time on Xbox/screens more than I did.. I think it makes the real world seem boring in comparison ( what, no explosions?). Can you impose a daily/weekly time limit? I think it is possible to set them to cut off after a pre-programmed number of hours playing. I did manage to impose a "no xbox in the hour before bed" rule, which worked to some extent in that the last hour was spent reading or watching TV with us, also no xbox till homework done. Mine also liked playing cards or doing crosswords/sudoko.
what i would say is that you need to act now - by the time he goes into 6th form it's going to be harder to implement rules.

[booksinbed]

thankyou all !!! x

[justbreathe]

Auntysib is right , best to act now and set the rules ... it just gets harder and harder to impose limmits as they get older. Xbox is really adictive, it creates an excess of emotion and adrenalin which coupled with no physical exercise sends them a bit bonkers. We have set up individual accounts on the pc for the dc with time limmits so when their time is up it cuts off... this saves having to get involved in disputes.

[awbless]

How long has he been in the Xbox phase? My DS went in and out of it. he still does have a 'flurry' now and again and he's 19.

I think it's a personality trait, my DS has these with other things, he plays guitar and during the 15 - 18 years he went for huge periods of time where he seemed totally obsessed, he could hardly put it down to eat! And one wasn't enough (still isn't).

Boys are weird.

[booksinbed]

thanks all- justbreathe - how do you set accounts /timers- can you do this on a x box and a blackberry playbook thing- exept of course just saying come off!!! ??

[LongTimeLurking]

It sounds like he balances his leisure time well at the weekends? So to me it sounds like the Xbox is his way of unwinding after school... If he is doing OK at school and keeping up with any homework then I can't see why you would make an issue of it.

I was massively into computers & gaming as a kid, I could never understand why others would see it as an issue. I doubt anyone would bat an eyelid if he was spending 4 or 5 hours reading books every night.

Also, at 15.5 I think you will struggle to impose any rules without a fight. I think a discussion and compromise is the best way to go.