dd is 12 and she is raging!!

[linconlass]

Help! have read other threads re dd at 14 being moody etc and my 12 yo dd is similar ..didnt expect it yet!! feel as if have lost her! moody ,speaking with an attitude,,angry,answering back,horrid to sibling.
She has not got periods but has pubic and underarm hair ,buds, and needs to use deodrant.I try to rise above it ,seeing it as hormones, but how much of this can we blame on hormones ??would it be hormones at this age- she is light and small for age.
And how much and when do we say behevour is not acceptable if its hard for her to controll - dont want her to feel bad bout herself... ? and if we make allowances when do we do so - what determines when -? my judgemant seems not so good - ive got L plates on here !!? - want to be consistant if i can ..she has started to say i cant help it its my hormones and whilst want to make alownaces cannot excuse all strops etc!!Her behevoiur is upsetting her sibling.Im intrrsted to hear of any advice before i hit the gin bottle!!!help please..............!thanks..

[linconlass]

help !! ??????

[GypsyMoth]

i think some of it can be hormones....but they hear us say 'its hormones' so it seems to give a green light to them to carry on,sending the message that 'they can't help it'

good advice i've had is to pick your battles. let the small stuff go and concentrate on the more serious behaviours you want to change. i used to pick up on every single little thing whe my own dd started to 'change'.

[MADABOUTTHEBOY2000]

i had my full pubity by age 10 so yes deffinately thats what it is , you still have to try and keep your own personal ground rules though, ie 3 dcs two are teens both doing my head in but most time i just ignore a lot of it my DH has a problem with DS being so lazy but i dont think they are anywhere near as bad as some parents on here are saying, all i do is ask them(they usually do it themselves anyway) is take some time out till there over it, its hard work sometimes but ive been reliably informed they do return in the end back to their old selves