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Putting my foot down and explaining to DS

(9 Posts)
hankythechristmaspoo Thu 09-Dec-10 13:16:41

DS is almost 14. I have to be a bit vague on details but basically he joined a club a few months back. Its a rather unusual sport I think. When DH and I went to watch for the first time a few weeks ago, we were not impressed as it did not seem at all professional or well run. I was also concerned about the lack of safety precautions - I saw one boy doing back flips straight onto the hard floor.

When DS went back for training we were told that last week (DS did not attend due to snow) a boy broke his neck at training. It looks likely he will be paralysed from the neck down and will not be able to breathe unaided sad

The coach said the leisure centre have now banned them from using the equipment. When questioned he said it was because he isn't a qualified instructor. I also overheard a conversation which suggested they are not insured.

We have told DS it is unlikely he will be able to return to the club. DS is distraught as he loves the club, his friends go, and he likes the instructor etc.

I have explained to DS that altho the coach knows how to do this stuff, that does not mean he knows how to teach it. even tried 'pretend you haven't been to this club. Now would you like to go to a club where they are not qualified, not insured and a boy broke his neck last week'. But DS is still in a terrible mood about it and blaming me for stopping him going.

How do you get them to see reason on stuff like this? There is not another club anywhere near us to swap to and I have the impression that his friends wil continue to attend. I am just getting the 'you runi everything', 'you just don't want me to have fun', 'its up to me if I go' etc etc.

oldenoughtowearpurple Thu 09-Dec-10 13:24:36

Forget trying to convince him to agree with you or admit that he is wrong and you are right. He won't. Not before he's 34 anyway. Save your angst and your breath for sticking to your guns in the teeth of a full teenage strop.

Talk to the leisure centre and/or the instructor about the club, what it teaches and its qualifications snd responsibilities. Sounds appalling.

hankythechristmaspoo Thu 09-Dec-10 13:31:49

That's kind of what i've been going for but wondered if I was doing it all wrong. I'm not very confident with this whole teenage bit TBH, he certainly knows what to come out with to make me doubt myself!

The instructor basically told parents at the session that we have to realise some of the stuff they do can be dangerous etc and that it's up to us if we trust the instructors to let them teach.

I am going to contact the centre as I had wrongly assumed that for the club to be running there they would have to have qualifications. The coach did not actually specify the injuries sustained vut I had already heard about the incident at the centre but was unaware it was this club and then I overheard another staff member say the same. The coach did try to play it down but I also know some other info WRT how it was dealt with and i'm really concerned.

I don't think there's anything they will say to make me let him go again. Oh well it'll just be another thing for him to hate me for!

noteventhebestdrummer Thu 09-Dec-10 15:30:20

Even regular sports like rugby, run with careful coaches and lots of knowledge of safety can have terrible accidents sometimes.

No way of protecting from these but could you tell him you can't cope with KNOWING that this club is not yet up to scratch on the necessary issues and that when it is you might rethink?

maryz Thu 09-Dec-10 15:31:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

snowedinthesticks Thu 09-Dec-10 15:37:09

Frankly the prospect of insurance does not overide such a risk IMO.There is no argument which would persuade me to let my child go to this club.

It can be hard saying no but I agree with others, this is one of those times you have to make an unpopular decision.
Remember when he was a toddler and you had to say no even though he screamed and cried. Steel yourself.

maryz Thu 09-Dec-10 15:40:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hankythechristmaspoo Thu 09-Dec-10 16:00:36

Yes Mary it is. My problem is they are teaching children (some as young as 5) to do back flips with no safety equipment (other thana crash mat) and no proper qualifications. Being able to back flip soesn't mean you know how to safely teach children how to do them. The boy broke his neck back flipping.

I was shocked when I saw it as I thought they would need some kind of harness etc as I have seen somewhere before. The helpers are also milling around doing stuff that looks blimming dangerous and they are definitely mucking around, and of course the others will copy.

And no, I agree insurance makes no difference to me, I am just shocked they don't have it. All my boys do Karate and the little ones do rugby, but I am more than happy at how these are run. This i'm not.

Because I said so I think is going to have to be it I think. I just wish he would see my point of view.

maryz Thu 09-Dec-10 17:21:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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