Being seen but not heard ALL the time

[mummydinosaur]

I have two children at University and a ten year old at home. I have been at home for twenty years now. And I feel like a dinosaur. Children are now like little Gods. Everything pivots around them. They can never quite be left alone from the prodding and prying of over ambitious parents. I have noticed the inexorable change. There is no room for them to just breathe and feel good under their skin. Every weekend is dominated by the royal timetable of ACTIVITIES. My mother had four children and we just mucked about in the garden. Parents are now glorified butlers and chauffeurs.It seems quite mad that a family cannot just quietly get on with their own thing. Children have to be endlessly challenged and measured and stretched like an elastic bands against an ever lengthening ruler. I remember the excitement of christmas parties where adults danced and drank and laughed and we were happily ignored as we watched them enjoy themselves. It was nice to just be there and rush around with other happily ignored kids. Now there is no such thing.I love children but not ALL the time. Now all get togethers are dominated by precious kids showing off. I think it was nice to be included in the adult world sometimes. Now it seems everyone wants to be children. In the end the children grow into teenagers who have to acclimatize to the fact not everyone will want to clap and weep at their every move. They will have to muck in and play their part and come to terms with the fact that they are not the centre of the universe after all....however much they have been to us.

[Niceguy2]

Not sure if there was a question buried in there somewhere. But I do agree with the little Gods comment.

It drives me absolutely NUTS when I see how fussy some parents are. And that's before I read about some of the overprotective idiots like some on this site.

Kids nowadays seem to be put on a pedestal. Driven everywhere in case heaven forbid a car may run them over or out of fear that peado's lurk at every street corner waiting to kidnap our little cherubs.

We don't let them play even with toy guns or certain "violent" computer games in case they somehow become psycho's. Like its something you can learn like maths!

We're told now that we can't smack them as that's assault and shouting at them is verbal abuse. Everyone from teachers, police & nurses through to plumbers & interpreters now need to be CRB checked before working with kids.

If they step out of line, after years of tolerating their behaviour and a collection of ASBO's, some charity will whisk them off to Kenya on Safari. The only benefit seems to be that it gives their victims a couple of weeks of respite.

All this sends a message to them that they are untouchable. And that the world revolves around them.

They then grow up and we wonder why they are dysfunctional and unable to cope with life events which we coped with no problems at their age.

[homemade]

Mummyd. I follow your points. I've often wondered how other parents do it. I don't take part in that type of routine myself. In fact I've often had difficulty in persuading ds to DO some activity! Part of being a teenager is learning, and eventually accepting, that you are not the centre of everything. Also, that with rights come duties and responsibilities.

In addition though, children / teenagers don't learn how to deal with boredom as I did and the (undying) benefits of daydreams.
Oh well, let's plod on doing out best.

[cory]

honestly folks, if our children grow up without learning to deal with boredom, whose fault is that? no point in whingeing about what the world is coming to- the world comes to wherever we let it! I for one am not a glorified butler.

(and if I don't smack, it is because my parents and my grandparents and my greatgreatparents were able to maintain discipline without smacking and I wouldn't want them to think I am a wimp lacking in personal authority)

[DustDustDust]

I actually agree. I'm 16, and I remember in Primary School certain friends would be in a constant state of being driven to activities and entertained. I would often be bored and I'd alleviate it by inventing games for myself or reading or just wandering around through the fields behind the house. Some of my classmates never seemed to have the chance to do this and it's apparent in their attitudes to life now as teenagers. =S