Please help, panicking about 13 yr old DS

[MooMooFarm]

He came home from school today with his arm in a sling.

Apparently he was pushed over by another boy yesterday lunchtime. He said he had slightly grazed knees but his arm only hurt a bit at the time, so he didn't tell anyone. He also didn't tell me last night, btw.

But he said when he got into his first class today his arm seized up and he couldn't move his hand to hold a pen. He went to the sick room, told the nurse about being pushed over yesterday, and she bandaged it up. She told him that if it still hurt by the end of the day then his parents should take him to A&E for an xray. He was sent back to class and spent the rest of the day not using his arm.

So when he got home and told me, we went to A&E. Good news is it's not broken, only bruised. But I feel so angry, firstly that the school didn't phone me to let me know about his arm today, and didn't get me to collect him early.

Secondly Im freaking out about the 'pushing over' incident. He says it was somebody he doesn't know who is apparently a bit of an idiot, who does that kind of thing. He says the kid pushed into a few people, not just him, and he has never picked on him before so I shouldn't worry as its not bullying.

But I am worried now that he's covering up something more sinister. I am going to go into the school tomorrow morning to talk to the head of year about what happened. But I know that I will probably come across as a paranoid mother (which I am). But am I right in thinking the school should have contacted me? And surely they should be looking into who pushed someone over so hard they ended up in A&E.

Would be grateful for other people's opinions please - thanks!

[littlemisslost]

err yes, sounds awful! but it does seem that school dont seem to contact parents anymore unless the child has pretty much dead! I occasionally find a screwed up slip in my dd bag saying she had a bump to her head or clash with another child but thats about it. sometimes there seem to be so many injuries at lunchtimes with the kids I wonder if dinner ladies actually exist!?

[angelinawatchout]

I know how you feel to be paranoid. My DS (age 13) has been coming home from school with various bruises and sometimes covered in mud. He says he has been barged into but doesn't know who did it. Sometimes he says his friend has punched him. This all makes me worried sick that he is unhappy and is being bullied to the point where I am making myself ill. I have come to the conclusion that this is just boy stuff and something they will go through at this age (they can be very immature as I'm sure you will know!) My DS seems happy most of the time and sometimes I think I make him focus on the negative as I always seem to be asking him if everything is OK. As parents (in this day and age) I think we are subjected to much publicity about bullying and automatically think there is a bigger problem than there is.

Regarding school - it must be very difficult for schools to notify parents of every incident but I think you are probably right to notify them. Just try not to worry that there is a more sinister picture because there probably isn't.

[MooMooFarm]

Hi everyone, thanks for the replies. I spoke to the head this morning on the phone; she was really helpful. She got back to me a few minutes ago and said that they've looked into it and been able to find out who did it as there were lots of witnesses who spoke up for DS.

Anyway the perpetrator has been put on the school's 'exclusion programme' for next week as he is a 'repeat offender' and was on his last official warning. So I am very glad I contacted school and hopefully this will put an end to it....

[mojomomo]

I know that its just his age most likely as at 13 they do tend to think they know it all but honestly im at the end of my tether with my 13 yr old, the constant phone calls from school about his behaviour, which he apparently is unaware of and within the last month or so his attitude towards me and my friends who come to visit has been very embarrassing to say the least.The school have now put in motion the means to test him for adhd though im not sure if this is his problem. No matter how many times i tell him to please be good and try his best it just seems to fall on deaf ears and he feels its the teachers and not him thats the problem
Is anyone else having the same problems as i feel it must be my fault somehow