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Just asked someone to sponsor me now I feel awful.

(8 Posts)
peonysandhotcrossbuns Wed 03-Oct-18 23:14:42

I am in OA and have recently rejoined after going NC with my previous sponsor who I felt had become too controlling and was wildly inappropriate and boundaryless at times.
I need a sponsor to get recovery so I asked a sane and abstinent person at my meeting. She is a nice lady by ever so strict and I feel so uncomfortable with the power imbalance of the relationship.
Is this just my inner child scared that it's going to have its comfort blanket taken?

Bodear Wed 03-Oct-18 23:17:10

I don’t think anyone else can answer this for you. How long has she been your sponsor? I wouldn’t write the relationship off too soon but only you really know. Be honest with yourself and trust your gut.

peonysandhotcrossbuns Thu 04-Oct-18 03:33:38

My gut is saying no she's too ridgid and I don't like someone being too rigid.
But my gut is also what's led me to this quite insane attitude to food so not sure what to trust.

Bodear Sun 07-Oct-18 22:25:57

I really don’t think anyone else can advice without knowing you both. It’s important to feel comfortable with your sponsor but you don’t want a pushover either!

Bodear Sun 07-Oct-18 22:26:07


peonysandhotcrossbuns Tue 09-Oct-18 21:45:48

Thank you.
I have had lots of phone calls with said sponsor now a meeting where we looked at the big book etc.
I have had a very sober week but am still concerned about her methods for staying sober including weighing my food before each meal, not exercising, not eating in restaurants, not drinking caffeine or taking paracetamol/ibuprofen.
It's too extreme for me and I'm going to have to thank her for her time and sincerity but i think I need a more middle ground sponsor.
I feel that as long as I eat 3 nutritious meals only, I will be "abstinent".
I feel like it's a growing up thing for me not taking the extreme path (I usually love extremes!)
I just know it's not for me.
Thanks for reading.

Bodear Tue 09-Oct-18 22:12:24

Good luck with your decision. Sounds like you’ve given it serious thought and consideration and reached a conclusion you’re happy with. Well done.

141mum Fri 22-Feb-19 07:15:56

Oh dear......a sponsor is only an addict like you......not a dietician or a pharmacist.... they support and give suggestions they take you through the big book

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