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Just asked someone to sponsor me now I feel awful.
I am in OA and have recently rejoined after going NC with my previous sponsor who I felt had become too controlling and was wildly inappropriate and boundaryless at times. I need a sponsor to get recovery so I asked a sane and abstinent person at my meeting. She is a nice lady by ever so strict and I feel so uncomfortable with the power imbalance of the relationship. Is this just my inner child scared that it's going to have its comfort blanket taken? TIA
I don’t think anyone else can answer this for you. How long has she been your sponsor? I wouldn’t write the relationship off too soon but only you really know. Be honest with yourself and trust your gut.
Thank you. I have had lots of phone calls with said sponsor now a meeting where we looked at the big book etc. I have had a very sober week but am still concerned about her methods for staying sober including weighing my food before each meal, not exercising, not eating in restaurants, not drinking caffeine or taking paracetamol/ibuprofen. It's too extreme for me and I'm going to have to thank her for her time and sincerity but i think I need a more middle ground sponsor. I feel that as long as I eat 3 nutritious meals only, I will be "abstinent". I feel like it's a growing up thing for me not taking the extreme path (I usually love extremes!) I just know it's not for me. Thanks for reading.