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Advice needed. I'm 46 and starting to look my age. What do I wear now??

(18 Posts)
dollydoughnut Thu 11-Sep-08 12:45:15

I am confused. I have always been told I look in my mid-thirties but have recently lost almost a stone (now 9st 8lb) and though I feel great and my body looks good, my face suddenly looks much older! Hopefully my body will get used to my new weight and will adjust hmm. However, this leaves me with a problem. What do I wear now? I don't want to look as mutton dressed as lamb.

My style has always been wide-legged jeans and flats, hooded tops, long cardis, biker boots etc. during day. More dressy at night but not a dress and high heels type. I can't wear shorter skirts (even slightly below the knee) as I haven't got the legs. Have got some straight leg jeans now which look good but really stuck for ideas. Apparently I have a 'funky, bohemian' look (so I've been told)so if anyone has any ideas I would be so grateful. Feeling lost for first time.

zippitippitoes Thu 11-Sep-08 12:52:59

i lost lots of weight that is roughly waht i weigh now

i am older than you

and buy lots of stuff in new look

i find it much easier now than before

because there is so much more choice

i go in river island dp miss selfridge

never see anything in topsop now

i think if you pick carefully you will find stuff in those shops

there is no zara or oasis etc here tho

compo Thu 11-Sep-08 12:56:09

my aunt is your age and the same size
incontrast to zippi she is put off with the likes of New Look. Miss Selfridges and River Island as too trendy and too full of teenagers, she hates it if she is wearing the same top as an 18 year old on the bus
She shops in Designers at Debenhams, places like Wallis do really good long lasting clothes, M&S and Next

Beetroot Thu 11-Sep-08 12:59:01

I am 45 and I would say pretty trendy

I wear Hennes/Zara/Nicole fahri/Hobbs (occasionally) Jigsaw

Good Jeans are a must - go to a big shop and try on loads

KatieDD Thu 11-Sep-08 12:59:13

I would put half a stone back on, once you reach a certain age you have to choose between your arse and your face. I am choosing the face, I'm very toned but weigh a good 10.5 stone to avoid the skelitor look I'm frightened will happen soon.

cocolepew Thu 11-Sep-08 13:01:39

I choose face too. Now I look like an slightly overweight 20 year old.

<<Not looked in the mirror for a while emoticon>

dollydoughnut Thu 11-Sep-08 14:50:45

Yes, KatieDD and cocolepew, my sister thinks I should do that too as she says I looked my best then. But I lost weight for a wedding in the summer and it feels so good to be able to put on clothes now and they look better .....until I look up at the lines around my mouth and the drawn cheekbones!

Did you feel like this when you lost your weight, zippitippitoes? If so, did your face go back to normal? Tell me it did, PLEASE!

Thanks for ideas of where to go for clothes. I do go to Next and Wallis but find them a bit boring. Also hate meeting lots of people with same clothes on.

SilentTerror Thu 11-Sep-08 17:31:13

Agree with arse v face!
Noa Noa and White Stuff good for the funky bohemian look,as are Uttam.
I hunt out quirky cardis/jackets /skirts in little boutiques or ebay,and pair with more 'mainstream' staples.
Have to say I find Next and Wallis very aging on me now.
Am 41,btw

zippitippitoes Thu 11-Sep-08 18:25:11

i lost aboput 5 stone but i look so much better

and at least ten years younger

but i do have wrinkles

i dont have a scrawny neck tho

as to seeing teens in the same clothes i cant say i have ever noticed anyone in the same stuff but then i dont go where teens go

and [people my age dont shop in these shops so i never see nayone

and they look different on you so not necessarily recognizable as you wear them duifferent;y

not sure id be happier seeing someone my age wearing them tbh

anyweay it is a case of picking items carefully and being realistic

i do like layers so you can have a vest top a nd a couple of other tops and iontroduce a bit of colour etc

i find the most ageing thing is wearing one top and a skirt for example or maybe thats just me i like to add a bit extra

my bf really liked this top he doesnt usually comment that much

except to say i wear too many layers

cant wear layers with that tho

i like it too

waits to be told it is tarty smile

i have just bought a grey and black stripe cardi from there

and i have my eye on these from river island

well actually ive just remembered you cant link to river island

but back to new look i tried this on today which is nice but would have to wear something underneath it as it falls off slightly i think i shall get it tho

it would be nice with a three quarte sleeve thin jumper or t shirt or something under

janmoomoo Fri 12-Sep-08 22:26:39

Turned 40 this year and god is it hard to find good clothes. You need something more substantial as you get older I think, cant get away with the cheap crap anymore as it just looks awful unless you are a gorgous 18 year old. I dont even try to compete!

Hobbs (but £££), Phase 8, Linea, Wallis.

Having my colours done was the best thing I have done, it has helped me so much. Plus reading Trinny & Susannahs body shape bible and knowing what suits my body shape. Means you can instantly dismiss 90% of what is in the shops and just go for the things that you know are good on you (although it means all my outfits look the same!). My advice would be know your body shape and colours, it has helped me a lot.

girlsnextdoor Sat 13-Sep-08 08:31:14

I am early 50s, but people think I am early 40s smile - sorry!

You won't put weight back on your could try some facial exercises that are for lifting and restoring what muscle tone- there are books and videos- just google.

It sounds as if you maybe can't dress quite so casually now as you used to?

I think anyone can wear jeans- the right sort- maybe a darker wash and bootleg or straight- with a nice top- either a cami and then a tie cardigan, or a a shirt and tank top.

Skirt-wise, if you wear boots, you don't need show any leg- but don't go for really chunky biker boots- keep the biker style but tone them down a bit- Clarks had a great range of boots last year but I couldn't wear them as I have skinny legs and need to get mine from Duo.

I like the book *colour me confident* it is good on colour and body shape and even make up, as are Trinny and Susannah's what you wear and what your clothes say about you- usually you can get them on Ebay for £s.

I think the trick of looking good at 45+ is to keep it simple- not too many frills or flounces, and think about colour- some outfits look very girly in one colour, but really classy in another.

I buy from Jigsaw, Kew, White STuff, Boden, and occasionally Esprit. Odd thing from Monsoon, but colours tend to be too bright for me.

dollydoughnut Sat 13-Sep-08 19:27:05

Thank you all for your ideas. It makes me feel better knowing other people on here have to think about the 'age' thing too.

I think I will go for layers in good quality fabrics in autumnal colours as I am brunette and have only recently realised that these colours suit me best. I will buy fewer items but better quality.

I have some of the Trinny and Susannah books (bought for me by my husband!) and will read them again. I was an avid watcher of their programmes before they started stripping the nation!! Yeuch.

Had never heard of Kew or Uttam (used to live in London but now in the sticks) and they look really good.

Thanks again. Any more ideas very welcome.

FrayedKnot Sat 13-Sep-08 19:44:53

I think black can be really ageing so definitely agree with choosing colours which suit you.

I bought a lovely dark green v-neck top in Per Una the otehr day (usually hate their stuff), and a slightly lighter green jumper and red cardi thing in Laura Ashley.

red one here

katch Sat 13-Sep-08 19:56:27

You could treat yourself to an image consultation (as a reward for losing weight?).

I went to House of Colour, and was told the specific styles and shapes for my 'clothing personality'.

A bit confusing to start, but now it saves loads of time, and means everything you buy suits you, regardless of age and shape.

Bink Sat 13-Sep-08 20:05:31

46 here too. Most ageing detail: greying coarsening hair. (Otherwise more-or-less OK - an old roué cousin of my mum's said a couple of weeks ago: "But you don't look a day over ... 35". I was very amused.)

Recommendations: really good haircut & colour - I have one with a couple of different shades of highlights running through, which works really well. Get your eyelashes dyed (thank you Motherinferior). Wear neat unfussy things, with characterful original accessories: I like White Stuff, as is forever being recommended on here, and Muji; LK Bennett is good for workwear, & Margaret Howell for pushing the boat out.

katch Sat 13-Sep-08 20:16:46

If you're blessed with dark circle, benefit Erase Paste will sort them out.

zippitippitoes Sat 13-Sep-08 20:18:13

i dont think i was sophisticated enough for this thread

dollydoughnut Sat 13-Sep-08 23:40:14

Zippitippitoes, your advice is great! I actually tried to go into New Look today to look at the top you got but was rushed out of there by my husband as the parking meter time was up. I will try again this week when I am on my own.

I am so impressed by your weight loss. And here was I thinking I had done well to lose one stone! Its no wonder you feel 10 years younger. The layering thing I intend to do was your idea too. So thank you.

Reading about Bink's good haircut suggestion is interesting as I have curly hair which I have been straightening for the past couple of years. I have shoulder length brown hair with caramel/dark brown lights in. Straight hair normally makes me feel younger and much better but recently I've been wondering if it drags my face down too much. However, when I leave it curly I look like a menopausal, middle-aged frizzy haired, tired frump (in a Brenda Fricker styley). A brilliant actress but not a good look. You can tell I'm feeling a bit panicky, can't you!

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