Can never quite get it right...

[Notmymonkeysnotmycircus]

Im 43, 5'2 and a size 16 so short with a big bum and thighs. I'm finding increasingly that I can never quite get an outfit right for the occasion. Recently was invited to an evening wedding and I put on smart black trousers and a black wrap top with silver detail on the neck and I felt all wrong - everyone else was in floral / bright bodycon / summery dresses and I felt like I was dressed to go to a nightclub.

Tomorrow I am meeting friends in the city centre in the afternoon for food and a few cocktails and have no idea what to wear. I have skinny jeans in all colours and nice suede brown ankle boots that I feel good in but top wise I have no idea. I know I am wearing too much black. I feel uncomfortable in sleeveless tops as my arms are flabby. How do I get the 'look' right for the occassion? I always end up feeling overdone, I'd love that effortless chic look that I see around me but my wardrobe seems full of either black 'going out at night' tops or summer t shirts.

Any ideas of what I should be buying to get the effortlessly thrown together look but something that'll suit my shape, size and age?

[dudsville]

Can you have a think about what you like that these other women are doing and think about how you can incorporate that? Maybe via pinterest? Also, some of the others will be effortless in their look, but a lot of people put a lot of time and thought into it too. Also, is it that you're getting it "wrong" or do you tend to compare yourself negatively to others?

[Jackie0]

This time of year is tricky, I wear a lot of black too but if it isn't linen or cotton it can look unseasonal.
Black trousers are boring and look like work wear , I avoid them , I do wear leggings though.
I like this sort of outfit www.gemini-woman.co.uk/item/Masai-Clothing/Natale-Dress/BV2Z#.V394WkDTVpU
I hope that works , I've never linked anything before .
I'm the same age and size as you and it's a flattering look.
Personalise with jewellery scarf etc
Don't try to fit in with your friends, that's not the way to go. Find your own style and let them try to fit in with you

[Notmymonkeysnotmycircus]

Thanks, I do think the weather isnt helping. Its quite warm but damp / wet so ive got all the extra hassle of a coat or trying to dodge the rain. Thanks for the link Jackie, I've never really considered a dress over leggings, I'll try a few on. I tend to find that i'm so big around the bum that things can be tight but then huge around the neck and shoulders.