wedding dress (guest) help please

[SmileAndNod]

I stupidly bought this dress last summer when I was one week post birth and hormonal thinking by some miracle I would look reasonable in it by the time my brothers wedding comes round (June). Not only do I not know how to accessorize it, I look like a mess and can't really afford to keep buying.

I think it's more me than the dress as every day I pull out things from my wardrobe and nothing, but nothing, fits or suits.

I look like shit on a daily basis and would like to look half decent for one day only. I'm fat, wobbly, look tired, old, dull. I looked (and felt) better pregnant than I do now. I hate it/myself.

I need help. Where do I start?

[tethersend]

Ok, so your baby is not even a year old?

Give yourself a break. I bet you're not sleeping nearly enough, which makes everything grey and negative... You can't know how you'll feel in June, once the sun is out and your baby is probably sleeping a bit better.

The dress is lovely, but why the need to decide what you're wearing now? If you want to wear it, I'd suggest a simple gold/wooden bangle, neutral clutch and heels, or a really strong teal, yellow or pink colour for bag or shoes.

But, I'd wait. Save up a bit each month if you can, and decide nearer the time whether you want to wear that dress or buy something new.

For now, you sound really down and I'd concentrate on getting rest and feeling ok with yourself

[TSSDNCOP]

That is a dress that can hide a multitude of sins, but grey is a tricky colour.

Can you get your hair done, walk the baby inits pram to burn some calories and maybe a fitness DVD while its nap time? You'll be surprised at the difference walking every day can make. Some areas have groups of new mums that meet to do just that.

Some good underwear next and get your eyebrows threaded and a good haircut, as expensive as you can afford.

Shocking pink shoes and bags would lift that dress.

[MrsLettuce]

What those two said^

It really is a beautiful dress and you really do have time a-plenty to save for accessories.

Spring is likely to make quite a difference to how you feel too - February is a hard month.

[SmileAndNod]

It is a beautiful dress, just sadly not on me . My hips and thighs are are too big, my tummy is wobbly and wrinkly, my boobs are droopy and empty and my face is bad. I have no glow and have to pile on blusher just to look barely alive. I have a few months yet I know but I can't seem to lose the baby weight. I put on about two stone this time round and I am about a stone over pre pregnancy weight still (dd is 7 months). Weight hasn't dropped off me despite feeding a lot. It's just made me want to eat . I've lost myself.

Anyway back to the wedding. I need to do everything on a budget (sahm with no money). I do get my haircut every 10 weeks or so, though since my baby was born even my hair has gone to pot and I've not been so happy with my hair cuts -it's supposed to be a kind of a messy bob, it's just messy! Can't decide whether to grow it long again (used to be bra strap level though it's not work). Eyebrows I also have done every 3 months or so and maintain them in between. But I still look like crap. And I long to have underwear that makes me feel good and not the saggy nursing bras I'm currently in.

So where to go from here? I had my colours done about two years ago and disastrous personal shopper trip before that. I do agree that everything is bad in February but I don't want to be me!

[Maverick66]

I think you are being way too hard on yourself. Perhaps dresses aren't for you. Maybe separates would look better. Have you got a beauty training college near you? They do great offers on expensive facials and massages etc.or try some of the treat sites like Woucher and maybe a salon near you will have an offer it sounds to me like you just need a day to yourself with a little pampering and made to feel human again. First year of motherhood takes it's toll on mind body and soul.

[SmileAndNod]

I find separates even harder as I never know what goes with what and end up looking mismatched. My dh bought me a spa day for Christmas but I'm not keen on leaving dd for that long to go tbh and would rather he spent the money on something else, though it was a lovely thought.

Need someone to take me in hand and sort me out. How do people manage to look so good with young children? I see glam mums everywhere. Why can't I be like that

[Maverick66]

Dear Smile and nod as a mother of 3 the eldest of whom is 24 ( 21&15) your Dd will not suffer any long term side effects from being left with her daddy for one day! In fact she will benefit as you will feel so much better in yourself . With regard to separates I buy myself a pair of really well cut trousers and in my experience everything else falls into place. With regard to looking well everyday - a decent hair cut is a must, a facial wash /exfoliant when in shower , tinted moisturiser , blusher, mascara, and a touch of lipstick. Surprising how good you will feel if you take 10 mins each day to do this. As OP says put baby in the pram and walk every day even if you only manage 10mins morning and afternoon it will really help you and your baby's well being to be out in fresh air .
Good Luck and be kind to yourself! Motherhood is a marathon not a sprint :) :)