Language for DS to use about DP

[CrumpetMonster]

I have a lovely DP and a lovely DS and they get on really well. We are moving to a new house together for a new start and i am really looking forward to it. DS is looking forward to it as well, he's excited but I have realised he has not really told his friends at school about it and I wonder if I need to help him out with the language etc - I don't use boyfriend, partner etc somehow I'm not comfortable with them but does this mean DS has no words to describe DP in his life? Can anyone suggest 1. how I approach with DS (he's 8) and 2. what words to suggest other than boyfriend (so coy someh) or partner (which is a bit businesslike). Lover etc obv out!!!

[Desiderata]

You've got two options, as far as I see it.

1. DS calls DP 'Dad'
   
2. DS calls DP by his name.
   
   I suspect that No.2 will be the most popular. When talking to his friends, "XXX is my step-dad" is probably the best choice, even though you're not married. I doubt that it will matter to your son's peers ... and you're right ... it stops that awkward 'boyfriend/partner' situation.

[CrumpetMonster]

I couldn't ever see me having DS call him "Dad" cos he has a dad. he calls him naturally by his first name but it's more how he refers to him ie my mum's boyfriend etc which seems to be awkward - as if he's mine but not his. If you see...

[Desiderata]

... oh, I do see. It's really awkward, isn't it. Especially with young lads, who would gag at the thought of using the word 'boyfriend' under any circumstance!

I think step-dad's a good compromise under the circumstances. That said, if he just stuck to XXXX, my mum's friend, that would probably suffice.

I'd imagine it's all pretty normal within his peer group.

[CrumpetMonster]

yes exactly. I think xxxx my mum's friend is probably the safest option and ultimately if we do get married he can say stepdad. I wouldn't have any problem with stepdad if we were married.