I hope any step parents or parents can advise me on the following:
I have daughter who is almost a teenager, I split with her dad when she was little so she doesn't ever remember a time me and her dad were together. About a year after we split her dad married and up until last Summer went her to dads every other weekend. He never offered to have her in the school holidays and never asked to have her more than what he did and didn't get involved in parents evenings etc. When they split it came out that his ex wife never had much time for my daughter and that was why he hadn't played a massive part in her life. My daughter was only upset thinking her dad was upset about the split. He did acknowledge he had let his ex rule when he could have his daughter and promised he would be different moving forward and between us as separate parents we would make the best life for our daughter putting her needs first.
8 months on and I have found out from my daughter that he has moved in with another woman and she now spends time with him at her house at weekends. He has not told me about the new relationship or his new living arrangements and my daughter has been upset as shes been the one to tell me. She spent the last weekend with them and ever since she has been back its been like living with a different girl. She's upset all of the time and spends her time instagram messaging the new girlfriend, both sides telling each other how much they love each other and the new girlfriend sending her messages throughout the day telling my daughter what she is making for her dad every meal and what they will get up to when my daughter is next there, and maybe they could have her more than the current arrangement we have in place (no conversation with me about this at all).
I don't know how long they have been together - the fact that all of a sudden my daughter is living somewhere else when with him and doesn't appear to have had prior meetings with the girlfriend worries me, and my daughter gets very attached easily.
How do I deal with the situation? I am planning on talking to my daughter about it but don't want to come across as having a go at her dad. The new girlfriend may turn out to be a really positive influence on her at this difficult age but I don't know her and given her dads past dating history she may not always be around.
Hope you can help x
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Step-parenting
Advice on a new step mum
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anon2106 · 24/04/2019 14:35
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