BF and I have lived together 1 yr. He has 2 boys, 6 and 9. The boys have known me for over 2 years and for the most part, we get along fine. But I'm struggling with feeling left out. I grew up with divorced parents, so I understand some of what the kids are going through. I fully support them spending alone time with their dad and I make sure that they do. Our work schedules are different, so it ends up working out that the boys have 3-4 hours every week day alone with him and then on Sundays they have time together from 9 am until 7 pm. None of this bothers me, I enjoy my job and I enjoy having some alone time on Sundays, or time to get together with my friends. The problem is all of the time that we are all together. At dinner, when the 4 of us sit at the table, the boys will ask their dad questions like for him to tell them about their mother's pregnancy with them and how it differed between the two of them, and about their birth. Sometimes it's more normal questions, like, "dad, have you ever been on a cruise? Dad, what's your favorite movie?" The problem is that dinner time turns into strictly a Q and A session bt dad and the boys. I cannot count the amount of times I have gone the entire meal without saying a single word while they talk non-stop. It's like I'm invisible. I've tried politely interjecting myself into these conversations like when their dad said no he hasn't been on a cruise, I just said, I haven't been on one either, but my sister's have and they got to swim with stingrays once. The older kid gives me a dirty look when I do this and the younger kid and my bf just completely ignore me. We have a pool table in the house, after dinner the boys will ask their dad to play pool with them and they do, which is fine, but they never ask me to play, so it's all 3 of them playing and I'm sitting by myself in the living room (where the pool table is)or am cleaning up the dinner mess. I tried to play with them once and the boys refused to play. I let my bf know I was feeling left out, so the next time all 4 of us played and it was just like dinner. Q and a with Dad, but this time there was the added delight of being talked about right in front of me, as if I weren't even there. Dad, does she like playing pool? Dad, tomorrow will she make chicken for dinner? If I answer any of the questions about myself - silence. Nobody acknowledges that I spoke. Recently I have started just spending time alone in my bedroom when the boys are here. I would rather be alone in a room doing my own thing than feeling invisible in a room full of people. Anybody else ever feel invisible in this role? Any tips?
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