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Advice about meeting children please(4 Posts)
I’m new here and am just looking for a bit of advice....
I have 2 children a son 15 and a daughter 13. I went through a fairly traumatic break up with their dad 4 years ago and shortly after that was in a fairly toxic relationship with a man for about 6 months, the kids met this man very occasionally and were happy when that ended. Fast forward a little and in 2016 I met my current partner, we are extremely happy together, he has 2 children also, a daughter aged 9 and a son aged 12. I was very wary of introducing someone again due to the past so we waited and they’ve met him a few times now, but I never really push it and rightly or wrongly we often see each other when my kids are at their dads, I feel like I’m almost a bit scared in case I mess up or upset them. I have met my partners children and we’ve been on a short holiday together, however his kids are younger and more accepting. I’m at the point now where I want us to all start seeing each other more, however I’m not sure how to negotiate this, more especially as my children are hormonal, occasionally moody teenagers who never want to do anything, so suggesting a day at the zoo or something I reckon would be quite hard. I really love my partner and we’ve discussed our future together but a massive part of this would involve our kids and us all together and we both desperately want to do this in the right way so no one feels upset
Any experiences or advice would be massively appreciated
Thanks in advance
Can't you just invite him round for Sunday Dinner when the kids are there and just watch a film. Anything where you just have a bit of family time together is a step in the right direction.
We could and I’ve considered that but didn’t know whether somewhere neutral would be better. Or am I overthinking this?
Neutral grounds are a good idea too. Have you thought of asking/ telling them you'd like them to get to know each other a little better as you've been with him for a couple of years now.
Get their views on it first.