Tanning Step Children

[Sessy19]

And I don’t mean their backsides!

DH’s ExW refuses to apply Si cream to her 8yr old daughter, because she ‘tans naturally, like her Mummy’!

In this heat and with the sun this strong, I cannot believe this woman doesn’t do more to protect her poor kid’s skin. We have sent suncream back with the DSKs, but it’s ‘thrown out’, surplus to requirement. ExW has had to treat BOTH children before now for sunburn because of her shoddy drinking-in-the-sun activities. DSS had actual BLISTERS! Her excuse, at aged 8, he REFUSED to put cream on after playing in the sea.

This should be bloody child abuse, and short of scaremongering the children how dangerous it is to not protect their skin, we are at a loss...should I camp outside their flat (2hrs away) and douse the children as they leave their home. Or is this none of my business? DH is away abroad with work and has tried sending a gentle email reminder to keep the kids safe in the sun, but got a barrage of abuse in reply!

[NorthernSpirit]

Sadly none of your business (and I know you care).

What mum does in her time is her business (just like what you do on your time has nothing to do with mum).

I’m a DSM and we’ve had the same. My OH covers them in factor 50 when with us. They regularly turn up to ours sun burnt and upset. Sadly it seems we can’t do anything (the mother is very hostile).

[sue51]

I agree. It's abusive and could lead to long term damage. You could send her links to various articles outlining the potential risks but it sounds like she will just ignore them. Short of contacting social serviced or trying to get custody, I'm not sure what can be done.

[swingofthings]

How about giving the 8yo one of those small bottles and just talk to him to say that applying it if he is out at least on his shoulders, neck and face to avoid being in pain as he was before.

At 8yo, both my kids would have been able to remember to apply it themselves, the only issue was reminding them if we were out for a few hours.

Otherwise, nothing much that can be done.

[Wdigin2this]

That is abusive and neglectful! Their father should speak to her about sun protection, and if she refuses to listen, then she should be reported to the appropriate authority.
Why the hell would any mother, knowingly subject her children to sunburn and all the possibilities that come with it???

[BlueBug45]

As a pp said teach the kids the importance of putting on sun cream themselves and check everytime they visit you whether they need another bottle to take to their mum's with them.

Believe it or not kids can learn from all adults that are involved in their up bringing.

[lunar1]

Have you got pictures of the repeated sun burn and blisters? I'd get your dh to take them to the Gp and also ask for a social services referral.

I'd be going for custody. Sunburn isn't a joke it's painful and has long lasting damage. Just how stupid is she!

It's not up to an 8 year old to hide sunscreen and predict when they should use it.