My stepson is 9 and my bio son with husband is almost 2. We see stepson EOWE. His mother is a permissive parent, so gives him whatever he wants (a big source of argument between DH and his ex). Stepson isn't a totally bad child. It's not his fault how things are. I see that a lot and we try to be encouraging and positive with stepson, as he does question how we raise our son over how his mother raises him. He eats lots of junk food at home, TV, Xbox and iPad he plays for hours at home, grades are poor (his mother says it doesn't matter) and while he wants to do more activities, she gives up after a lesson or two because as she says,"she can't be bothered." She also has stopped trying to push him to do even one chore a week. I see that in two ways. She's a mother on her own with two kids and working full time. It cannot be easy at all for her. I struggle with one and I have a supportive husband. As a result, while on the whole, he is an all right child, he really believes the word revolves around him and that he should get whatever he wants. He doesn't treat people nice, which can be embarrassing in public at times, but he says he doesn't have to treat people nice and that they have to do what he wants. His diet is so poor that his teeth are rotting and he has to take three medications for his stomach and sleeping. What my concern is is how that will affect my own son. We do our best to be a positive influence in my stepson's life. I try and find activities that he can do, so he gets the same as our son when he is here. My DH has to be a little relaxed on his son because he can't just be criticising his son the whole time, so some bad behaviour is not dealt with, and we try to encourage healthy eating, but again there is a compromise when stepson is here. However, with our son, there wouldn't be as much compromise. So, my question is, has anyone had this and not had it affect your residential children? I just don't want my son thinking that school doesn't matter or that he should eat junk food or look up to my stepson when he treats people so badly. I know we will always be explaining that these behaviours are wrong, but kids always look up to the older kids. Also, any more advice on encouraging my stepson to be kinder to others would be great. We tried lots of discussions of how would you feel or the benefits of being kind, but he still doesn't think being nice is good.
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