Hi BF and I have been in a relationship for 5+ years For context I was not the other woman, divorce proceedings were finalised when I came on the scene and we live in our own separate houses seeing each other at weekends and one evening during the week He has three adult children age range very early 20’s to middle 20’s and one of his children lives with him He also has grandchildren that live locally I have one middle team child who lives with me and one older child who is at Uni
BF has always been keen for us to make bonds as a ‘family unit’ In theory I would have no objections but because of the behaviour of his children my children and I are less keen Some examples of this behaviour are - It had been arranged that we would all have dinner at BF’s house my youngest was sat watching TV in the living room and I was helping cook dinner in the kitchen BF’s children and grandchildren arrive and go in living room. According to my youngest, who I believe as I have witnessed this kind of behaviour before, they started to offer around some sweets they had brought but they didn’t offer him one and completely excluded him from what was going on Other examples are asking each other is they would like a drink, something from the kitchen etc but not asking anybody else in the group, making sure they all sit together if we go out for a meal and telling us that we can’t sit in certain seats as ‘this person is sitting there’ all walking off together if we are going somewhere In summary actively excluding my children and I (and their father in some instances)
I thought I was used to this behaviour and to a certain extent resigned myself to it but now after the latest bout I am not sure and the reason I am posting is to ask - Should I resign myself to it, would you or would you challenge it and be prepared for the consequences?
In addition although I am possibly resigned to this behaviour I will not put my children through this and I am having to turn down invitations from my BF to join them more frequently In the past I have been less than honest about my reasons but now I am considering just being honest and telling him the real reasons and how we feel - Do you think this is wise, what do you think this will achieve, would you do this?
I am really interested to hear other people’s thoughts
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18 replies
Paulo1 · 18/01/2018 13:36
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