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I'd like some advice please .. myself and my partner have been together over 2 years, my children adore him but his children don't even know I exist. He and his ex wife have been through a very difficult court access case and we now feel the time may be right to introduce my existence to the children but I don't know how to broach the subject with the ex? We've never spoken, I'd like to write her a letter but I don't know where to start.
Personally I would not get involved with the ex. It is up to your dp to initiate discussions and lead your introduction to his children imo.
Once you have met the kids or she is aware of you, then she may have questions.
I could be totally wrong xxx
Don't. It's his role to raise this. Let it happen organically.
As an ex step mum I still speak with dss Mum from time to time.
It took years of work, but we got there.
After 2 years why / how do they not know you exist? Do you and DP live together? I think I would let DP sit them down and explain that since he and their mum separated you are now a part of his life. Let them get used to the idea first. Depending on their age they will probably be inquisitive and then you will know when the time is right for introduction. If your DP spends time with them, then legally he can't be prevented from introducing you to them but it has to be done right, obviously the welfare, feelings and priorities of the children need to be the priority.