Thanks for the advice Penguins&pebbles........I am hoping that someone might be able to give some advice, I don't have any children of my own and have recently met a man with 2 (8 & 12), who now stay at our house during the week/every other weekend, although they are nice children and really do not mind having them at all, especially as I know how hard it has been for my partner not to see them everyday, I don't really know where to start, as I say they are nice kids but seems to have no boundaries set, they come and do as they please at the house (which I am pleased they feel comfortable to do) but no respect for anything including their own stuff, have the table manners of...they don't have any and to top it off speak to my partner like dirt most of the time, the younger one frequently calls him an idiot etc the older one just sits on her phone (which I know is the "thing" these days) but even when her dad tells her to put it away for a bit she just ignores him, she says she would like to live with dad as mum takes her phone off her for and hour and a half a day!! I did speak to my partner at the weekend in a round about way, he says he finds having the kids stressful as I go quiet at certain times (not intentionally but better than shouting at them all) I explained I hate the way they speak to him, their lack of respect for anything etc and that he seems oblivious to their behaviour, he says he is not oblivious but they take him saying anything as being told off and they wouldn't want to come, I know he lets them do what they do because he feels guilty, last night after the conversation the kids were there and absolutely nothing changed resulting in me being cross with him. I don't feel it is my place to tell them especially as I don't want to be the reason they don't want to come (the mother would love that!)....sorry for the ramble but really looking for advice on how to deal with this as it is all new to me, I have come to the conclusion that id have been an awful mother!! :(
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