I am writing this in desperation. I have been with my wonderful partner for 3 years and am about to marry him next year February. He has full custody of a lovely 12 year old girl. The birth mother sees her maybe for a couple hours every few weeks. He and the birth mother never had a relationship. I get on very well with his daughter, lets call her L. She loves and respects me as I do her. I couldn't ask for a better relationship with her.
The problem: We have been slowly moving them into my place so that L can adjust and feel comfortable with it. But I'd say they have been living permanently with me in my 2 bedroom flat for about 6 months now. I had to make some major adjustments and get rid of a lot of things but we are making it work. He works full time and studies part time and only gets home around 7 in the evening. My hours are more flexible and I do some work from home, and I am also studying part time. Because my hours are more flexible I am able to fetch her from school, take her to extra murals etc. But because I am with her for most of the day and he isnt I feel like the primary parent and its overwhelming. I have to fetch her, make sure homework is done, shes showered, take her here and there for this book or that project, help with homework, discipline her, get dinner going (she has recently decided that she is vegetarian, so thats also now more complicated and time consuming) all on my own.
I feel like a baby sitter and dinner maker and thats it. My partner is very busy so I feel distant from him. I just feel overwhelmed in my new position. I feel guilty as I have started to resent them both. Is this just what being a mom and wife is? Must I just suck it up and deal? I have zero experience in both fields so any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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Step-parenting
Help! New full time stepmom
31 replies
SAstepmom5 · 13/10/2016 07:06
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