New step Mum

[stella80]

Hi, I'm new here and nerous about posting. I met my bf two and a half years ago and we fell for one another straight away. I knew he had a daughter who he had alternate weekends. She was 8 when we got together and the relationship with her mum ended when she was 6 months. We waited about 7 months before I met her but he started to mention me to her and then when we met it went ok. We didn't stay the night for a few months when his daughter was there, I feel like we did things as right as possible. Fast forward to now and we just got our own house together. We kept SD in the loop with house hunting and the moing in itself. She's fine one time and really emotional the other. I think she's really feeling pulled from one person to another. She stays primarily with her Mum, but she works a lot so she ends up with her Aunt a lot too, who she adores. Alternate weekends is all her Mum's allowed with her Dad until now and we try to just make sure her time with us is stable. I try to make sure they get Dad and daughter time. It's just so hard sometimes... does anyone offer any insight?

[CRazzyyAce]

Alternate weekends is normally what is offered although My current set up is mid week overnight and one overnight at the weekend so DS Sees his DF on a more regular basis, could your DP suggest this, that way neither parent is missing out on quality time but its on a more regular pattern?What about holiday access does he have any during the holidays?

[Evilstepmum01]

Step-parenting is hard, I'm 4 years in and we have joint custody, it does get easier. All you can do is your best, you just have to let everything else go. Sounds like you're doing a good job, giving them time together.

Mind and spend some family time together too! I always try and remember to be kind and take an interest in DSDs life. Luckily shes lovely so its not too hard!

[mixety]

Hi Stella

It sounds like you're doing really well. Can you be more specific about what you're finding hard? How does your 'DSD''s emotional turbulence manifest itself? Do you feel like you and your DP are on the same page about stuff?

[swingofthings]

Are you worried about her emotional outburst? It could be nothing more than hormonal. Nothing more as in nothing to overly worry about, still not nice going through it for the child but it does get better.