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School holidays.. What do you do?

(13 Posts)
Matilda2013 Tue 31-May-16 20:37:26

Last year I found that I tried to help out with as many as dsd school holidays dates as I could given both her mum and dad don't get paid leave as such. However when it got to holidays I couldn't do (didn't want to use the start of this years annual leave for the end of this school year as we are away two weeks in summer) dsd mum insisted that the rest of the holidays were split equally cost wise for childcare. This sounds fair but to me I obviously felt that I'd saved both parents quite a bit of money and this should have been taken into account as my dp helping with a percentage of holidays

So this next year I have decided not to book annual leave to cover holidays and try to get them to split it 50/50. Then if I happen to be off I can have her but it's not specifically for that.

If you split 50/50 do you plan for the whole year between parents? Or just take the holidays as they come?

Biglettuce Tue 31-May-16 21:24:45

Does your DP have 50/50 residency and no one pays maintenance? If so then splitting time over summer would seem fair, but each person would surely be responsible for their own arrangements? I.e. If you childminded then your DP would pay less, but I wouldn't be offering to pay or childmind for the mother.

Matilda2013 Tue 31-May-16 21:28:40

Nah he has every weekend Friday to Sunday night and she does week days since the school is closer to her house and he pays maintenance. Just figured the responsibility of school holidays probably best split 50/50?

Matilda2013 Tue 31-May-16 21:29:29

And it's not that I particularly mind helping her mum just i did a lot of holidays and it wasn't counted for anything so I don't want to do it every year and resent it

MeAndMy3LovelyBoys Tue 31-May-16 21:35:00

Biglettuce has got the right idea. Split it 50/50 and then sort own days out regarding childcare.
And don't babysit for the mum!

Matilda2013 Tue 31-May-16 21:36:59

What happens with the odd days through the year? Organise when they get there or split all the year right at the beginning?

Biglettuce Tue 31-May-16 23:44:27

I'd organize as much in advance as you can. Odd days sounds a bit on the messy side? There aren't that many bank holidays.

If he's paying maintenance please don't provide childcare for their mum! I did this them realized I was taken advantage of.

Maybe83 Wed 01-Jun-16 06:52:20

We did it as they come up. Both my dh and dd sm have her during holidays if they are aren't in work and she is with me or her dad. Dd dad has Thursday or Friday to Monday most weeks.

He doesn't see it as my responsibility to organise holidays that fall on Monday to Thursday as during longer periods of she would likely go at the weekend and stay the week. If something comes up that one of the four of us can't have her she goes to a grandparent. We use to book two summer camps one for near his house one for near mind to split up the summer holidays when she was younger. He paid for his I paid for mine. He or sm collected from him, me dh or my mam collected from mine. This was done seperately to maintenance.

Happydappy99 Wed 01-Jun-16 06:57:50

We split childcare 50/50 if it's because we're both working. We both try and take time off during school holidays but it's not always possible. Their Step Mother helps out with a couple of hours here and there but I don't think it would be fair on her to expect her to do full days as she's busy too.

ClaudoftheRings Wed 01-Jun-16 08:42:39

She took advantage. What a cheek. Of course the time you spent should have counted towards your DP's childcare. You're right not to do it again.

Matilda2013 Wed 01-Jun-16 10:47:18

Yeah I was thinking if they split the number of days she's actually off school (not including weekends and public holidays cause she's with us and we'll be off public holidays). Then they sort out either they look after her or find someone to look after her or pay the after school fees.

Much as I didn't mind actually having her I was a bit annoyed that she still felt we hadn't done our part considering we covered all the holidays from August till end of March this year.

1ofthosedays Wed 01-Jun-16 13:39:00

Def split the holiday days and then whoever's 'day' it is sorts out/pays for childcare.

Could even mean that if you want to, you could provide the childcare for DSD on some of the DMs days but she would have to make that arrangement with you and almost treat you as a 'child minder' ie. provide spending money for any days out/ activities?

Chasingsquirrels Wed 01-Jun-16 19:27:01

We split holidays 50/50 (rest of the time is 1 weeknight & 1 weekend day/night).
We each arrange our own childcare when the children are with us, invariably this is ourself, parents and ex's partner.
As we are only covering half the holidays each it's easier, when they are with ex I work full time (usually 25 hr per week) and then take the time back when they are with me. That, my annual leave and the odd day with my parents covers my 50%.

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