Hi everyone/anyone. I'm looking for advice. I've been with my partner for 7 years. I am 37. He is 46. I have never married or had children. He has 2 daughters. One 20. One 14. He has always financially supported them even though the older one has a flat with friends and the other daughter lives with his ex wife and her husband with a new baby. We both love each other and travel and decorate our home together. He is very loving mostly and responsible.
We have been through a lot and it's taken up till now for us to be settled with a beautiful home and we both have good jobs. He earns a much bigger wage than me though. He had always said that if I ever wanted a child then he was for it and would never deny me that. Up until now I was ok without children, although the relationship with his daughters has always been very tense. They never talked much and I would never know much about their life as their mother would tell them never to talk to me.
However since we are settled and comfortable, and his daughters have their own lives, I asked my partner about us having a baby? At first he kept smiling, and he said he was so happy, he thought I'd never ask! Then a couple days later he became annoyed about the thought of it and said he could never afford it so no it wouldn't happen. He said he couldn't do it financially or physically and if I wanted children then I'd need to find someone else.
My frustration lies with the fact that he gives most of his money to his daughters who are both quite comfortable. And have more than most girls their age. Which is fine, but it leaves him with no money each month and he says he would never reduce his monthly payments to them for us to have a baby.
I feel tricked and used as before it was always him that would suggest a baby? He still says that he would love to have a child with me but he couldn't afford it. But the fact is he makes a lot of money but wants to give it all to his daughters. His daughters also have a mother and stepfather providing for them too!
I just feel I'm second or third on his list. I told him I didn't think I could be in a relationship where I have no option to have a child and I'm second to his daughters. He said that I'm not second, that I'm being selfish, and everything is about me! That no man would take this ultimatum from a woman. I just feel shocked and hurt. I feel I have no option but to split up. Can you please tell me if its me?..
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Step-parenting
My partner has 2 daughters to previous marraige but doesn't want any more
19 replies
Poppletosh · 05/04/2016 10:07
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